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Thursday, February 8, 2007

Fight Club


Had a fight (the talking kind, not the hitting kind) with the missus last night. As usual, we were both tired, exhausted, and working on not enough sleep. That happens when you have 3 kids, 2 under the age of three, and most nights we navigate around being mentally and physically whipped. Like most of our "fights", it started with me acting like moron at something innocent she said, which caused her to snap(it was justified snapping).
Anyway, typical of me, she tried to end it while I had to keep going, causing her to look at one point like Nolan Ryan did after his little dust up with Robin Ventura back in the day. If you don't remember this one, Ryan had plunked Ventura, who proceeded to charge the mound like Santa Anna at the Alamo. 40+ year old Ryan drops his glove, puts Ventura, some 20 years his Jr., in a headlock, and proceeds to give this punk about 7 or 8 punches to the head. Ventura never landed a shot, and after it was over there stood Ryan, red faced and trying to catch his breath. Angie looked JUST like that. Well, only WAY hotter than Ryan, but you get the point.
Everytime we have one of these little brouhahas, I try to compare it to a baseball fight. Yep, I'm fully aware I have a sickness, but it's all right. I've accepted it, you should too. Most of our arguments end up like most fights in baseball: a lot of standing around, pointing at each other and shouting the occasional random insult. We have never reached the Fisk vs. Munson battles like the one pictured at the top. Occasionally we get to the "I'm gonna charge the mound and try to tackle him, all the while hoping the catcher is gonna knock me down, we'll roll around a little, and then I'll act like I'm REALLY trying to break away from this 78 year old pitching coach holding me back" type fight.
Once, and only once, did we reach the "Pedro throws Zimmer to the ground and ignites WWIII " level. As usual, it was me being a moron, her TRYING to stop the thing, and me bound and determined I was gonna have my say. I'm not gonna reveal the reason for the fight: gotta keep SOME things private. Let's just say the end result was I slept on the couch for 2 straight nights. Like I said, those are as rare as Haley's Comet, and for the most part, we resolve things pretty quick.
A wise man once told us "Never go to bed angry" and in 14 years of marriage, both of us have tried to follow that advice. Even when she/I am NOT the cause of the argument, invariably we will apologize and kiss and make up. OK, most of the time it's my fault, and I know when I'm being a doofus, so I'll break the ice and give in. I love my wife, and am aware of the fact that I married up. WAY up.
I love my wife. And I know she loves me. Life is NOT like it is in the movies, and people argue and say stupid things. OK, I say stupid things and she puts up with me. We may argue and fuss, but I know she has my back. I'm just glad my wife is on MY side.
'Cause she ain't Posada. Or Munson.
She is Fisk.
Or better yet, she is Tek.
Only a WHOLE lot prettier.

22 comments:

kelly said...

Ted, as long as no one separates a shoulder, it's all good. ^_^

Seriously, no one wants to fight, by any stretch of the imagination. But it does happen, and as long as you know this:
Even when she/I am NOT the cause of the argument, invariably we will apologize and kiss and make up.
you'll be okay!

only WAY hotter than Ryan
hee hee hee!

Ted D said...

Hey Kelly. We LIVE by that motto, as well as "never go to bed angry".

Funny, none of the wedding magazines tell you how hard marriage actually is! Especially with children! I have a AWESOME wife, and know I am very blessed.

scott h said...

whoa nelly, This would be a whole lot more fun if you were a hockey fan. We could judge the ruckus based on whether any blood was drawn, of if it was just a minor scuffle!!!You sound like you guys are in for the 50 to 60 year fling.You care enough to haggle out those issue.Rather than keep them bottled up inside!On the marrying up thing I'm sure Angie is a nice girl but I've seen what her options were!!!I think your even.just joking Angie!

Tex said...

\\she is Tek.Only a WHOLE lot prettier.//

Ted so she has nice thighs??

Ted D said...

//Ted so she has nice thighs?? //

Tex, she has nice EVERYTHING!

//On the marrying up thing I'm sure Angie is a nice girl but I've seen what her options were!!!//

Yep: but the last option was the BEST option! Remember Scott, this is my blog: And I have TONS of stories I could blast you with, so be kind to your brother in law!

Finally: MARBLES! Just cause I like saying it: Sorry Stacy!

Matt said...

Ok, ok...I don't know where to begin!

First of all, is it just me, or do we need to send Scotty to a remidial typing course? Dude, I appreciate the attempt at punctuation, but throw in a space after some of those periods. It helps the eyes adjust, o ye of stream of consciousness writing! Remember, it reads different than it sounds in your head.

Ted, last night, as my Hurricanes were whipping up on the Bruins (only one team in Beantown that I pull for, and the Bruins ain't them!), Scott Walker manhandled some schlub on the Bruin's D, after he had tried to slewfoot him. After reading your blog, I couldn't help but see Walker as Ang, as she pounds you again and again, yet you refuse to go down. Like an idiot, you keep trying to throw a punch, as if yours have any effect on her! You know the thing to remember? When you fight in hockey, no matter who's the winner, you're BOTH in the box after it's over. No one wins in the end. Ironic, eh?

Finally, I am SOOOOOO glad that I'm the younger brother, because I've learned from all your mistakes. I have a mental list called "Stupid things my brother says that should never get beyond my lips." It's quite extensive. It has come in handy, when I remember to reference it before speaking. Sadly, that is not always the case. Altough, I've never had to sleep on the couch, either.

Well, except for the time I was yaking all night, but that wasn't because of a fight.

Doofus.

Ted D said...

Finally, I am SOOOOOO glad that I'm the younger brother, because //I've learned from all your mistakes. I have a mental list called "Stupid things my brother says that should never get beyond my lips." It's quite extensive. It has come in handy, when I remember to reference it before speaking. Sadly, that is not always the case. Altough, I've never had to sleep on the couch, either.//

See, and some people did not think I had anything substantial to offer to the world: glad I could help Matt! All right, gotta leave the office and actually work now. Scott: enjoy your life of Reilly today!

scott h said...

Reilly Here. Matt is this good enough? Ted what is this new thing where you repeat the first seven lines of everything Acorn and I say, back to us? Has your train left the station and forgot to tell the caboose? A final thought, in honor of the Mongoose not seeing his shadow I think we should talk about hockey the next few weeks. So Ted could you write us a few lines about the sweet science of HOCKEY!!!!! count your lucky marbles I'm not living closer to you guys right now.

Ted D said...

Hockey? Hockey? What is this thing you speak of?

"Count your lucky marbles"

hehe.

Tex said...

Scotty if you want to read about hockey start your own blog. I dont think Ted knows much about it...but he can give lessons for how to piss off your wife. :)

Ted D said...

Tex, believe me, Scott needs NO help in that dept. The man can get under your skin quicker than crap through a goose.

Kaylee said...

Nice post! I prefer the physical fighting. I am such a trouble maker:)

Kaylee said...

BY the waay tek is cute forget the prettiness!

Kaylee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kaylee said...

//Life is NOT like it is in the movies, and people argue and say stupid things.//

That is right!It isnt I would be very scared if life was like some of those movies.I am glad it isnt!Sorry I am wired up on Caffeine tonight:)

Ted D said...

Just thought it needed to be said:

MARBLES!

Tex said...

Ted
SotB and I made it home safe and sound. had fun with my friends. Returned to a bar Mean Eyed Cat...cool joint. met a guy while cashing out but had to go....maybe ill see him again there. oh well...the weekend holds much fun for us!

Ted D said...

To quote the Sgt. from "Hill Street Blues" Tex:

You be careful out there! Working on a new post. Kids staying at the grandparents tonight, so maybe I'll get it on here later tonight!

Scotty, Matt? You boys up and at em yet?

scott h said...

No sleeping in out here!! Well reading between the lines of Ted and Tex's last response's I guess I will have to get a hockey fix somewhere else!

Ted D said...

nhl.com bub. Or crazy canadians.com. Or goonsrus.com!

scott h said...

Thanks Ted. Could you clairify the "I'll be getting it on here later" statement in your previous response?Is Iron Mike coming back for another round? I decided it was easier to just go to a hockey game than start a blog so me and the boy are going tonight. Maybe Garrison will be up some good social skills from the experience!

Ted D said...

Scott, I meant I was going to try to post another column later!