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Friday, April 6, 2007

Crazy like a fox

*picture from the Boston Globe*

Answer: He covers his body in baby oil and Bengay, then drinks 1 cup of coffee and takes 2 aspirin.

The question? What does Julian Tavarez do to get his body warm when he pitches in cold weather.

My man is nuttier than a grove of chestnut trees: are you kidding me? Baby oil and Bengay? Why only 1 cup of coffee? Doesn't aspirin thin the blood, therefore making you COLDER, rather than warmer?

Pointing at the bases, diving at guys during stops in play, and puncher of dugout phones and Joey Gathright. Every time you turn around, he's doing something that either makes you scratch your head or laugh out loud. Giving someone a back rub, or a shoulder rub, or in one strange instance, standing on Craig Hansen's back while he's lying down. Go over to sittingstill.net for proof: he is certifiable.

Which is exactly why it is so much fun to watch him pitch: you never know what he's gonna do next. During Spring Training, NESN camera's caught this on camera: Julian standing right in the middle of Matsuzaka and Okajima in the dugout with his arms around them, talking 90 miles a minute and laughing his head off. The 2 of them kept nodding and smiling, all the while probably thinking "This was not how I expected to die".

In years past, especially the 2004 Band of Idiots, he'd have fit right in: now, on a team of consummate professionals, he and Manny seem to be in a contest on who can be the biggest goofball. Maybe that's why I like him so much: every team needs that crazy guy the other team always looks for in a scrum. Julian's the type to go after the pitcher while carrying a bat, hoping to make a human Popsicle out of him.

I can picture him right now, screaming out to no one in particular, in his best Kurt Russell imitation:

"You tell the Rangers I'm coming. You hear me? You tell 'em I'm coming, and Hell's coming with me!"

8:00 p.m. tomorrow can't come fast enough.

42 comments:

KAYLEE said...

No it cant come fast enough and TED batshit sont think like that okay:-)

KAYLEE said...

I meant dont!

Ted D said...

Kaylee, you have got to cut out the caffine at night.

Seriously.

KAYLEE said...

//Kaylee, you have got to cut out the caffine at night.//


TED you do realize thats like telling a baby to stop crying and you dont do anything for the baby? IS it gunna happen?NO!

sittingstill said...

Thanks for the reminder, Ted--one of the things I need to do this weekend is write my letter to Julian. ^_^ My brother is a massage therapist--he's actually the staff therapist for the New England Revolution MLS soccer team, but he also has a private practice. I think Julian needs him. I have pictures of Manny cracking his back, Enrique Wilson cracking his back, Jason LaRocque standing on his legs, and Hansen standing on his back. I think I just need to present all of that as evidence and then offer to pay for his first session with my brother. You never know...

Ted D said...

Kelly, did I screw it up? Was Hansen standing on Julian's back, or the other way around?

Either way, you'd best make that call.

Julian is on the hill tomorrow. Lock the women and children up.

Glad you stopped by: your expertise is needed around here. :)

KAYLEE said...

//Lock the women and children up.//


no no you men NEED TO BE LOCKED UP:)

Ted D said...

Kaylee,

Why would the men need to be locked up when Julian is pitching?

KAYLEE said...

i hate watching batshit"s starts because i always call him that AT LEAST 5 TIMES every start and my mom hates it,I always get in trouble and not to mention SWEARING at the T.V.!

KAYLEE said...

I dont know i am tired and on to much caffeine.

KAYLEE said...

I need to go to bed I cant think straight anymore!

Tex said...

I am SO psyched to see Taz pitch this year. This is one time I do wish i had close tickets just to watch him.

KAYLEE said...

TEX,did you leave me over there?

Ted D said...

I'm outa here everyone: Tex, I'll be watching for you tomorrow.

And hoping Julian goes postal on someone tomorrow.

I take my fun wherever I can get it.

Have a great Saturday everyone.

KAYLEE said...

NIGHT TED I am doing the same thing in a minute:)

Tex said...

i finally got my blog written....not as funny as id like it..but im dead tired

nite all

sittingstill said...

Hansen standing on Julian, Ted. ^_~
http://www.sittingstill.net/photos/07March7/030707_4278.jpg
http://www.sittingstill.net/photos/07March7/030707_4300.jpg
http://www.sittingstill.net/photos/07March7/030707_4312.jpg

KAYLEE said...

NICE PICTURES THERE:)

scott h said...

Ok, I survived fri night. no freeze . If we can get thru sat. I will be back in a harrassing mood! Tx save me your 12.00 parking pass, i will reuse it. Ted that was a good little post, Although I believe it sounds like he is just crazy no foxing involved! KAYLEE put down the caffinated drink NOW!

Ted D said...

Bub, you done already for today? I'm really glad you guys made it through without any loss of plant life.

Julian is bonkers Scotty: though he knows it. I think half that stuff is to make the other team wanna pee their britches when he pitches.

KAYLEE said...

//KAYLEE put down the caffinated drink NOW!//


SCOTT:HOW'D you know that was what I was drinking? its almost gone and I will try to refrain from getting another one:)My sister will keep me from doing it she didnt even want to let me have the first one....She will tell me mother I am sure and I will get in trouble if i do:)

KAYLEE said...

TOM GLAVINE aint pitching the way I want him too.SMOLTZ IS PITCHING A whole lot better .......THE METS are 4-0 is it too much to ask them to be 5-0 to start the season?

scott h said...

Yep Glavine thats me, Ted we split the day since it is a little slow, a few "you know" are out buying like no tommorow. Kaylee matbe we as a group need to give you assignments! Ted can be your Eastcoast Daddy and I can be your Midwest Daddy

scott h said...

UH OH A-ROD goes OFF!

KAYLEE said...

//Kaylee matbe we as a group need to give you assignments! Ted can be your Eastcoast Daddy and I can be your Midwest Daddy///

First of all,spell your words right.Second of all that aint a bad idea.....I dont got no father okay I do but,me dont live with him maybe thats part of my problem:-)

KAYLEE said...

YOU men seem to teach us kids better than the women thats one good thing I have learned about men in my life:-)

scott h said...

aint a bad idea.....I dont got no father okay I do but,me dont live with him maybe thats part of my .}You have got to be kidding , not about the father part, where did you grow up the Bronxs?

scott h said...

Well Im getting ready to go to the last night of our passion drive thru. Ted keep me posted on the game. Kayee have a wonderful evening! Water only.

scott h said...

oops kaYlee

KAYLEE said...

Haha Scott,no I grew up in Boston and m oved here to arizona 3 years ago:-)

KAYLEE said...

Okay scott,good news for you then my sister has cut me off the cafeine today!

KAYLEE said...

SOX dont worry we will take care of your game updates if TED dosent me will:D

KAYLEE said...

I meant scott I was thinking about the sox:)

KAYLEE said...

Scott its 1-0 TOP second sox winning on an RBI single by JD DREW!

KAYLEE said...

now, its 2-0 LUGO had an RBI single now.

Ted D said...

Scotty, in case you are home early:

4-2 Rangers, bottom of the 4th.

3rd inning was VERY strange: I'll tell you tomorrow.

KAYLEE said...

TED is there a such thing as getting home early, When youi are out playing the role of JESUS?

Ted D said...

Kaylee,

You are making me go to the Tylenol earlier than I wanted.

KAYLEE said...

haha TED I have already made my mom resort to the tylenol tonight SHE said it from me yellowing BATSHIT's name 55 times tonight.She finally told me she was going to lose it if I yelled his name one more time:-)

KAYLEE said...

i meant yelling duh!

Tex said...

Well I seriously am disappointed in the boys tonight! they have no excuse..they are used to playing in the cold. Tek did get an rbi...but jeeeeeez..is it asking TOO MUCH for a W???

scott h said...

Teams talk about being able to turn it on or play when motivated,BUT no excuse for tonights effort. ITs early they are talented and would beat rangers 9 out of 10 times but this kind of effort can come back to haunt you!