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Thursday, June 21, 2007

All I know is Ward Cleaver never had days like this.

Did you ever have one of those days where you wish you could just crawl back into bed and pretend everything that went on that day NEVER happened?

Pretty much, that was my day: the highlight was sitting in a bank for over an hour, yet again signing part of my life away.

Picked my new/used car up around Noon, and let's just say the day went to pot after that: not 5 minutes after leaving the dealer, my insurance company calls and, because of a screw up on the part of the agent for the demolition derby driver who hit ME, they are going to stop payment on the settlement check they sent me if I don't get some paperwork their way, ASAP.

Mind you, I've been with these people for 15 years: think that buys me any brownie points? After spending the better part of the afternoon running from my insurance agent to the NCDMV (where the lady who "helped" me was about as friendly as someone in the Taliban) I THINK I've got that ironed out. Unless they find a new way to screw me over between now and tomorrow morning.

So, I arrive home to find my paper, pipe, and slippers laid out for me, right? Uh, no. What I DO find is Ciera has lost the ******** remote control again, and has somehow managed to leave 2 Mt Dew cans, a bag of pretzels, a bowl of grapes, and a half full glass of Dr. Pepper on her bedroom floor. Along with various books, clothes, CD's, and pencils laying about.

One of those pencils ends up in the possession of Rakes, who proceeds to color all over the banister leading down the stairs. As I'm reading him the riot act about not writing on the walls, he turns into Johnny Cochran and proceeds to tell me that "I NOT Bite on the wall: I bite on the dairs. DAT is a wall, Dad" while pointing to, well, the wall. I half way expected him to grab a pencil and say "If 'de ball doesn't bit, you bust aquit".

At this point, with Trot bellowing in the background like some wounded wildebeest because he wants to go outside, I'm considering three options: go completely postal, leave and head for Canada, or laugh inside, cover my mouth to hide my smile, and chalk it up to one more day being the Red Sox Dad.

As you can tell, I chose the latter. 'Cause my life is gonna make a fine sitcom someday: I've just got to find the right agent to sell this to FOX.

::Sigh::

I hate travel days.

58 comments:

KAYLEE said...

QUite the day but,it wasn't half as bad as I expected after reading your comment on Carol's blog earlier.:)

Ted D said...

I left out several details.

I didn't want to write "War and Peace" Kaylee.

Just know it was about 10 times worse than it reads.

Mattie said...

Bro, I'm sorry. I know the feeling about our "neighbor" insurance co. They screwed us after Amanda's fender bender last year. We hadn't cost them a cent until then, and they stuck us with points for 3 years. I'm sure Bub will get on and take up for the insurance man, but it's a racket. You pay and pay and pay, then, if you ever claim, they make you pay some more.

But bro, aren't you glad for those 3 little ones? I mean, people PAY to watch conversations like the one you and Rakes had!

All I want to know is this: can I write the music for the sitcom?

scott h said...

Oh cry me a river!! I doest believe thou protesteh tomuch!


I told you a week ago, they hit you , you are not their best friend , You are the enima! And you Hen c Pecked your rate was based on being a clean driver you hit someone you are no longer clean.

What else? Jr that day sounds just kinda average. Any of yours driving yet, college yet, I didn't think so.

so climb in your recliner read a few chapters of whinne the pooh to the kids and chill!!!

KAYLEE said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KAYLEE said...

I just cant wait to be driving in December although,my mom is VERY scared just thinking about me being alone on the Road.I do have my permit now.:-)

Ted D said...

Mattie, Do you not agree with me that insurance agents are one step above earthworms?

And I'm very grateful for the little ones: they will earn me millions in syndication rights one day: and yes. You can write the music: just no Groove Bucket covers, if you don't mind.

Bubba: your kids are angels, and you know it. Not a Rakes among them. The Chicklets are the anti-college child: and if you don't realize this, I can send you article after article to prove my point!

And if by average you mean it's every day I have a almost panic attack, well, then I guess it was. :)

Ted D said...

//I do have my permit now.:-)//

I'll now cross off Arizona as a possible vacation destination.

KAYLEE said...

//I'll now cross off Arizona as a possible vacation destination.//

HAHA!ROFL!I am truly not that bad unless you ask my mom she thinks different.

Mattie said...

Bro, it's not the agents, it's the agency. Big business. And I told you Bub would come to their defense! Once you taste the Kool-aid, it's hard not to!

Bub, in my world, when you have NO incidents on your record for 15 years, you get the benefit of being a good customer. It was a fender bender in a freaking parking lot, and it's costing me a couple Bens a year. Give me a break. Why not just cover us for free until we have a wreck, and then make us pay for it. Uhhh....wait...that would be like having no insurance! Huh?!

scott h said...

Mattie, Do you not agree with me that insurance agents are one step above earthworms


I would settle for one step above furniture salesmen!

Tex said...

\\leave and head for Canada//

you coming to Texas??

Well if mattie's writing the music..I want to be the Narrator for the Sitcom...and what should the title of this be??

Monkey See..Monkey Do

Mattie said...

Gammons just said Schill is going to be shut down for 3-4 starts, and Gabbard may take his spot, not Lester.

Mattie said...

Bub, that was cold. Of course, furniture salesmen are a step above tent-dwelling foilage pushers!

Ted D said...

Hmm...

No insurance.

THAT would be nice.

I wonder if this is what Lennon had in mind when he wrote "Imagine".

Somehow, I doubt it.

Ted D said...

Tex, are you implying something?

And check your email if you can.

Mattie, I can see them putting Gabbard in this spot right now: they are being very cautious with Lester. Though with the game in Seattle, and him from there, I imagine he is pushing to get the nod.

scott h said...

Ok one more time for the uneducated. Blame your state. Joe billy bob comes to your ins co. for a quote and says. Hey Hen c pecked in bensen had a wreck and his rate is lower than mine. So the State says if your CURRENT client has an accident you must treat him like you do a new customer.

Drive your wife everywhere she needs to go and don't worry about it happening!!!

Mattie said...

Bub, quit spewing your Kool-aid laced tirades my way!

Here's another one: we move to a rural county from an urban one, and my rates go UP!!! What? Tell me my odds of having a wreck are not greater in the freaking Capital city gridlock than they are on these country roads? It's a RACKET!

Tex said...

if I CAN??? are you implying i dont know how to use a computer?? or you like my dad...and think I can only check my email on my computer? :P

Ted D said...

Tex, you can check your email on a computer not your own?

Wow: you ARE good. ;)

Mattie, preach! Racket, racket, racket.

I'm moving to Canada to get free health coverage from a doctor who got his degree from a cracker jack box!

At least it's free and I don't have to take out a second mortgage to pay the SOB.

Tex said...

now what am I checking my email for?? cos ive been checking it

Ted D said...

I sent you an email night before last: you didn't get it?

It shows I sent one: let me know if you didn't get it, I'll send it again.

scott h said...

Oh me, rural urban it doesn't matter you drive a gazillion miles a yr thats what its based on.
Drink up and pay your premiums. and my house and pool and kids college thank you!

Tex said...

i got it and replied

Mattie said...

Bub, if that's the case, I drive LESS now than I did then! You're arguments are like a house of cards, company man!

Ted D said...

I got that one Tex, and replied back.

Do you want me to send it again? It starts with "Hey Sis".

And I sent it last night: my bad.

Ted D said...

Mattie,

I think you can take the agent out of the company, but you can't take the company out of the agent.

Bub: I thought you were selling plants now? You have some non compete clause you have to honor?

scott h said...

Jr I hear the USA is working on something like that. Except they are going to combine several fields together. I heard Doctor, cable man and plumber. Drop your draws and answer the door the Roter rooter man is their with a tongue depresser and a cable splitter!

Ted D said...

Bub, I'm in pain.

From several different areas.

Would you PLEASE find a rose bush to sell?

You are making me uncomfortable.

Tex said...

yes Ted I got it...i think i replied to it again.

scott h said...

Hen, when you told them you were moving into Klan country that might have effected it.

scott h said...

Hey 007 I told you I have moved on to fireworks I am top sells man of the week

Ted D said...

Tex, I never got it. Just checked, but no worries.

Enjoy your vacation with SotB and you can get back to me when you get home.

Just wishing you PV's and giving ill-advised advice is all.

Typical little brother stuff: you can respond when you get back home.

Ted D said...

You selling fireworks is a blog for another day Bub:

You do realize that the majority of the people buying these things from you will be loaded when they shoot them off, right?

KAYLEE said...

POka you guys are too much for me. MUST GET SLEEP!

scott h said...

Mr Peck could you PLEASE give us something over on the pay per view channel? Maybe the finer points of string changing or how to whittle a harpsachord!

Tex said...

your advice was taken as well intentioned..let me check my email

KAYLEE said...

thay was okay spelled weird.

Ted D said...

Bub, he's a little slow on updates, no?

FINALLY: I have something I'm faster doing than Oat Bran.

Well...

Nah: not going there with a 10 foot pole.

scott h said...

I 'm selling beer around the corner to insure that happens!

scott h said...

YA good idea I don't think he plans on letting go of that record

Ted D said...

ROFL

Mattie, you have GOT to stay up later.

We are flat out ABUSING you.

Well, at least Scotty is.

Tex said...

ted i emailed you back..did ya get it?

Mattie said...

I'm here, you suckas. I was writing a post over at the the "Pay per view" channel. Enjoy.

Bub, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were sampling a little of the bubbly! You are infuego tonight!

Ted D said...

Tex, just checked: nothing yet.

I'll try again in a minute. When did you email me?

Just for the record: All I have to do is push one button on my keyboard and the email's come up.

It's pretty hard for even ME to screw that up.

KAYLEE said...

mattie: just for the record I would never say anything bad about you or tease you.now,I might tease scott.Cos he teases me.

Mattie said...

I know Kaylee...you got my back.

Ted and Tex, this ongoing "Did you get the e-mail? No, did you? No, what about the other one? No. Who's on first" bit y'all have going is killing me! Tex, don't let Jr. fool you. He calls me once a week going "The kids made the toolbar-thingy disappear!!! I can't check my blog!!!!! I CAN'T CHECK MY BLOG!!!!!"

Ted D said...

Bran Muffin:

I am 'puter savvy. I take exception to your description of me.

Now: can you tell me why I can't get my email to pull up?

Ted D said...

All right: I quit, and am going to bed.

Tex, no worries: have a great weekend and I'll try to catch you when you get home.

Keep Horsham out of a Mexican prison, and fly your Texas flag with pride so we can find you this weekend.

Go Sox!

scott h said...

Poka Kaylee!

KAYLEE said...

scott:that was supposed to be okay.I admit I CANT SPELL FOR BEANS!

Mattie said...

Hey you uns,

I'm out. WAY past this ol' boys bedtime.

KAYLEE said...

I still got about 6 hours in me.Even though its 9:00!

Tex said...

ok Ted I resent the email and posted a new blog...with a pic of me working hard at it....and Mattie...quit trying to bust up our Abbot and Costello routine!

Carol said...

I say give that man a sitcom! I think it should be named something along the lines of ELR - Everybody Loves Red Sox Dad. It would do well as all the Sox fans would watch :) Sorry to hear that's how your day went yesterday - What is Taliban lady's number?- You may have to change my link to 'Don't Mess with Carol' lol!

I see that Scott did not hold back last night (though his Winnie the Pooh comment was pretty funny). I'm glad that Matt was here to support you, and I hope that the paper, pipes & slippers are waiting for you later today ;)

Carol said...

P.S. That's a very nice photo of you & the kids!

Ted D said...

Thanks Carol: I don't know if you can call what Matt did support, but at least I wasn't having to take on Scott all by myself. ;)

Matt did, after all, refer to me as the loose bolt that broke the washing machine, or something like that.

Kids are all staying at the in-laws tonight: FREEDOM!

Have a great day Carol.

Stacy said...

I just happened to be a Jr.'s house when the "pencil incident" occured. It's amazing how fast you can go from infuriated to trying to conceal your laughter. Rakes will make a mighty fine lawyer some day. :)