CLICK HERE FOR THOUSANDS OF FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES »

Monday, July 30, 2007

Payback is coming




With my family at the beach and the Red Sox on the way back home, I got to thinking about some of the really stupid stuff I did as a kid. It got me to wondering if my own 3 children would skip the cycle of idiocy and be halfway productive members of society as kids/teenagers.



Figured no place was better to start on this trip down memory lane than with actual photographic evidence PROVING my level of moronishness: witness the mullet. Looks like 2 squirrel tails curling around my head in the top picture: of course, I had to throw Matt and Scott under the bus with me. Mattie's 'do and his glasses make a nice compliment to each other, while Bub and his '70's porn 'stache just completes the shot.



In the 2nd shot, my old school Pop looks positively THRILLED to be having his picture made with his manly sons and their 'bitchin locks: I had just gotten my ear pierced not long before this was taken, so I'm sure he had some internal questions he was pondering when this shot was taken.



While reminiscing today, I remembered me and "Big Phil" stealing that flashing highway sign one night and leaving it in my buddy Johnny's driveway: for 2 years after that every time you pulled up to his house at night, the garage steadily blinked this bizarre orange glow.



I recalled the day young Matt and I were jumping off the top of the slide into our pool, while all the time not thinking the slide would get SLICK, and Mattie gracefully plopping onto the concrete face first, breaking BOTH wrists in the process.



Watching Johnny jump from the roof to the pool, over roughly 8 feet of concrete a few weeks after, it never occured to me until later in life that, after Matt, I REALLY should have advised him NOT to do that.



I never got arrested (though I should have), never got suspended or expelled, only got in a few fights (one pretty memorable: maybe a future post), and never got a girl "in trouble". Just thinking today though, I did a bunch of really dumb, idiotic things that I'm lucky never amounted to much.



As I think about my little girl Ciera and her two active little brothers as I recall some of the things I've done, I've come to the following conclusion:



I'm in HUGE trouble.

44 comments:

Mattie said...

What was wrong with my glasses? I could see Jupiter's moons with those things!

Ahhh...good times, good times. I remember that ski trip. That was the time that my "saintly big brother" moved in on a girl that I had a crush on. Of course, that's all cool now, but I wanted to grab those squirrel tails and choke him with them!

Thanks for dragging us all down with you, bro. At least you were equal opportunity. I pity you when Bub gets on here, though.

Nancy said...

Lookin' mulleticious, Ted! ;)

Tex said...

only YOU Ted would post your own goofy pics!! Love love love them!! Im bout ran out of tears crying from laughing so hard!! Oh yes we all have did some moronic deeds. My mother still does not know I ran away from home...I returned before she realized it...i mean come on it was dinner time :)

I had that dang mullet too but I aint dumb enough to post a pic of it :)

ok the mullets made me crack up but Scotts Porn stache is Da Bomb!! LOL

Ted D said...

Bub and his Clark Gable/John Holmes stache don't scare me!

Besides, I was rougher on myself than I was on him. The glasses just complimented the mullet bro: sort of like white wine and fish. Or something like that.

Man, when Rakes sees this he will go bonkers: I can't believe Mom kept these.

Guess where I found them? In her picture tray, marked '90's. I told her she missed it my about 2 years.

Mattie said...

Bro, I hate to tell you, but that WAS the 90s! I graduated in '93, and that ski trip was my sophmore year, '91. Dude, we weren't even in style then!

Ted D said...

You think so Nancy? I was quite the babe magnet back in the day: one day I'll find the one where I looked like Cooter with a mini-mullet and full beard when Ang and I went on our first date.

Love is truly blind.

Tex, I knew you'd get a kick out of 'em! And what do I care if I looked like a moron? I was 20 and dumb as a box of rocks! Glad you enjoyed them: trust me, if Matt and Scott get too vicious, I have more where those came from.

I pulled that run away from home stunt also: except I didn't make it until dinner time.

And I'll agree: the porn stache is the BEST!

C-CITGO said...

Okay, Matt reminds me of Jan Brady (lol), Ted reminds me of someone I went to school with (I think), and Scott reminds me of an actor (whose name I can't think of right now - and NO, it's not Ron Jeremy) ROFL

Ted D said...

Jan Brady? ROFL!

A guy you went to school with? Was it Billy Ray Cyrus?

And it's Clark Gable you are trying to think of Carol: "Frankly Scarlett..."

KAYLEE said...

Jeez never got suspended? Wish i could say that! I have one time in every grade i think!

C-CITGO said...

I will go look again and see if it's Billy Ray TD ;)

K - You need to reform LOL

C-CITGO said...

I'm back - OK TD, I'm going to say that it's a cross between Billy Ray & Dustin Pedroia!

KAYLEE said...

carol:I know I aint a sweet good girl all the time but,most of the time I am ;)

scott h said...

Ok if its war you want. Mattie I wont even say anything. It might scar you for life. But Jr that rattail was too much.Although I am smiling I believe that was after you two deviants broke the super S.I am still on the look out for another one. I believe in the day we called those cookie dusters NOT pornstach's.

Hell hath no fury like a brother-in-law scorned! Just wait.

scott h said...

One more thing Ted. Go to your closet right now and throw out that shirt. I know you still have it.

scott h said...

Ok I just figured out who you looked like. Andre the Giant at age 3.
I hope you know I wont sleep a wink scheming and planning. Mattie that was 88 at the earliest. Those glasses you got those from that dude on hollywoods squares. He died this year Nelson something.

Mattie said...

Boy's, you both are trying to make those pics older than they are to cover up your goofyness. Me, I'm comfortable with my stupidity. I'm telling you, I can tell by the length of my hair: 1991.

And Jan Brady? C'mon Carol! She never had bangs that cool!!!

C-CITGO said...

Matt - If you say 1991, I take your word! And I'm also trying to picture you listening to Cinderella there :D

Scott - I look forward to what you cook up for Ted (he deserves whatever you have coming)!

Mattie said...

Carol, it was Cinderella, Crue, Dokken, you name the hair-metal band, and I was into them.

So sad.

scott h said...

Jr with no screamin kids have you over slept? You always put up a little note before you go off to the salt mine.

scott h said...

Yes Mattie you were, but the best part was listening to you read the liner notes from Faster PussyCats and say, hey bub see ,that one dude thanked God.

Mattie said...

Bub, I'm laughing because it's so true! I can't deny. Funny how our perceptions change, eh?

C-CITGO said...

"Ted reminds me of someone I went to school with (I think)"

Okay, the lightbulb just went off! It wasn't someone I went to school with - It was the first guy that I dated 20 years ago (I was 17) who had his own apartment and no roommates (I remember that impressed me lol). He was a drawing artist with lighter & shorter hair, but it's the face & bone structure that are very similar. I'm glad that I remembered :)

Ted D said...

Bub, I didn't oversleep: Someone has to work. Young corn muffin took off to practice his golf swing for NEXT weeks vacation.

Carol, glad you figured it out! Since I look like him, hopefully he wasn't a jerk!

Mattie said...

Correction: I took off because my father-in-law was PAYING for me to practice my golf swing for next week's vacation.

Ted D said...

You're a bit touchy aren't you?

Don't forget: they are playing the O's so you should get tonight's game, Senor Woods.

C-CITGO said...

TD - He took me to my one & only Boston Bruins game! Maybe now he'll start reminding me of Matt LOL

Ted D said...

Oh Lord, a hockey fan.

We both know how weird THOSE people are. ;)

Stacy said...

Unfortunately, those haircuts look as bad as I remember them.

::shudders::

The 80's and early 90's were NOT the era of great fashion or hairstyles. Now Billy Ray (the real one) is very handsome with his current mullet-free hair!

Ted D said...

Don't be hating on the mullet's sis: the 80's weren't bad for JUST men, you know?

Does "tight curly perm" ring any bells?

scott h said...

Stacy you are joking right? I have suffered through a few of those Hanna Montana or whatever. Billy Ray looks like a old dude who USED to have the worlds worst mullett. Plus that dumb soul patch. IF Ted starts one of those I will fly out and shave it off.

Carol, old boyfriend stories that end with he looked like Ted in that faze of his life should be erased from your memory!

Matt did you get a new job offer? Two weeks off while I was out, Golfing this week and trip to mt. next. Sounds like a man getting ready to turn in his two week notice.

Ted D said...

Don't worry Bub: my long hair days are over, and I can't carry the soul patch.

And do you REALLY want me to go find pictures of what you looked like at the ages of 18-20?

scott h said...

Dude those pic's are what brought me into your family! You are not questioning your sisters fine taste are you?

Ted D said...

Bub, you looked like "Spicolli" from Fast Times at Ridgemont High, except you had The Stache.

KAYLEE said...

Beckett needs to get Roberts!

Christine E. said...

Evening everyone:

Holy Buckets, Ted! Talk about "Business in the front, party in the back..." LOL

I' remenber the 80's fondly, I has bright strawberry blond Big Hair--bigger than my head!

Yes, that was me crying as I was walking down the aisle--I also cried when my best friend read her toast to the hubby and I...:-)

I dont cry in baseball (although sometimes I feel like it!

Hope everyone is well! Still enjoying your bachelorhood?

Go Sox!

Ted D said...

That was my motto Christine! And I think everyone had big hair in the 80's. Pretty wedding you had: you made a beautiful bride.

Everything is good, but the bachelor life is not everything it's cracked up to be. I miss my younguns something fierce.

Go Sox! 4-2, O's ahead in the top of the 5th.

::sniff::

I smell a comeback.

KAYLEE said...

I really want this game Hi christine!!!!!!!!!!

Mattie said...

Ted, we need to find a pic of Bub from their wedding: porn 'stache, white tux, ruffled shirt...classic.

Ted D said...

I know bro: all he was missing was a top hat and a cane.

Tex said...

well Ted...i may be upsetting the sg board with my last post but i really dont care.

Ted D said...

It's all right Tex. I don't think worrying about what people think of you is high on your priority list.

Check your email.

scott h said...

Dang dude, I think the yankees are sending a message.

As we speak I have in my hands the cross dressing pic of you and your highheel wearing bro. If I can figure out how to get it on here you are finished in this town!!

Ted D said...

Bub, we have a 7 game lead. And I got the Yankee message loud and clear.

They traded one of their most reliable relief pitchers for a utility infielder today.

THAT was their big move: meanwhile, we picked up one of the filthiest relief pitchers of the past 5 years.

It. Is. Over.

Stacy said...

Ted, I didn't specify the 80's were bad just for guys; I do not want to relive my perms and big hair. :)

And Scottie, yes I do this Billy Ray looks good. Although I could do without the soul patch.