Ciera just got home from her first dance a few minutes ago. To say I'm not happy with this development would do the phrase "not happy" an injustice.
Not that I didn't want her to go to the dance: the fact she's OLD enough to be going to dances is what bothers me. All I know is I'm not ready for all this: she's 9. And I'm aging 1 year for every day by now. Throw the fact there is a new female student in her 4th grade class who is 12 (My heart goes out to this kid, but I'm going to be LIVING at an Elementary School until this gets resolved, one way or another), smokes cigarettes, and apparently has seen more than your average inner city gang banger. I'm presently breathing into a paper bag and chanting "It's not a tumor. It's not a tumor".
I'm happy to report there was no slow dancing with boys: Ciera spent the whole time with her friend Taylor, and they left early to get back to Taylor's house to watch " The Polar Express". I've got a feeling this may be the last year something like that happens. I'm trying to encourage her to be friends with this kid named Jared, who is a bigger Red Sox fanatic than I am.
In fact, I'm thinking about arranging a marriage with his parents: he's polite, a Sox fan, well behaved, a Sox fan, smart, and did I mention? He's a Red Sox fan. This is my deranged mindset right now: the fact she is starting to go to dances and notice boys has me considering arranging a marriage based on the fact the boy loves the Red Sox. If I make it through the teenage years without buying a handgun and intense therapy I'm considering myself lucky.
Next, it took all of 4 years of being alive, but Rakes finally committed his first criminal act today: he tried to put his buddy Tommy's toy in his book bag at school today. Twice. Upon being asked why he was doing that by Mrs. Becka, his response? " I beally like dat toy, Ms Becka: By tan't I have it?" I've got a sinking feeling this is EXACTLY how Al Capone got his start.
I'm hoping this isn't a sign of things to come, however, I'm not going to hold my breath.
Did I mention Trot is cutting teeth?
To quote the great philosopher Frank Costanza:
This Week on My TV: April 11, 2015
1 week ago