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Friday, November 30, 2007

My Girl

Ciera just got home from her first dance a few minutes ago. To say I'm not happy with this development would do the phrase "not happy" an injustice.

Not that I didn't want her to go to the dance: the fact she's OLD enough to be going to dances is what bothers me. All I know is I'm not ready for all this: she's 9. And I'm aging 1 year for every day by now. Throw the fact there is a new female student in her 4th grade class who is 12 (My heart goes out to this kid, but I'm going to be LIVING at an Elementary School until this gets resolved, one way or another), smokes cigarettes, and apparently has seen more than your average inner city gang banger. I'm presently breathing into a paper bag and chanting "It's not a tumor. It's not a tumor".

I'm happy to report there was no slow dancing with boys: Ciera spent the whole time with her friend Taylor, and they left early to get back to Taylor's house to watch " The Polar Express". I've got a feeling this may be the last year something like that happens. I'm trying to encourage her to be friends with this kid named Jared, who is a bigger Red Sox fanatic than I am.

In fact, I'm thinking about arranging a marriage with his parents: he's polite, a Sox fan, well behaved, a Sox fan, smart, and did I mention? He's a Red Sox fan. This is my deranged mindset right now: the fact she is starting to go to dances and notice boys has me considering arranging a marriage based on the fact the boy loves the Red Sox. If I make it through the teenage years without buying a handgun and intense therapy I'm considering myself lucky.

Next, it took all of 4 years of being alive, but Rakes finally committed his first criminal act today: he tried to put his buddy Tommy's toy in his book bag at school today. Twice. Upon being asked why he was doing that by Mrs. Becka, his response? " I beally like dat toy, Ms Becka: By tan't I have it?" I've got a sinking feeling this is EXACTLY how Al Capone got his start.

I'm hoping this isn't a sign of things to come, however, I'm not going to hold my breath.

Did I mention Trot is cutting teeth?

To quote the great philosopher Frank Costanza:

Serenity now.

67 comments:

Tex said...

i have GOT to get to North Carolina soon!! I am rolling laughing my arse off!!

Ted D said...

Tex, as much as I want you to come to North Carolina and meet your adopted nieces and nephews, I'm sort of hurt that my descent into insanity causes you this much happiness. ;)

Tex said...

im NOT laughing AT you...its WITH you...oh wait...you're NOT laughing?? oh ok then Im laughing AT Rakes then??

Ted D said...

Tex, trust me, I'm not laughing.

Well, maybe through the tears I am, but that's all I'll give you.

How my Mom raised 5 of us I'll never know. For that matter, how your Mom raised you and your sister: you're bad enough for at least 3. ;)

Tex said...

you forget. My Mom had 5 of us too. and Ill have you know I'm the angle of the family

Tex said...

angel not angle ;)

Ted D said...

I didn't forget: just remembering your haircut story.

And I'd say angle covered it pretty good! ;)

~**Dawn**~ said...

Breathe slowly & repeat after me:
Only 74 days til pitchers & catchers report.

It's a scary world out there. Your daughter could one day bring home someone to meet you who is a fan of... *them*.

Tex said...

Seventy FOUR??? ONLY SEVENTY FOUR???? WOOOO HOOOO!!! Who needs CHRISTMAS??!!! :)

Ted D said...

//Your daughter could one day bring home someone to meet you who is a fan of... *them*.//

Dawn, I think a lot of you.

But take that back.

Right now.

~**Dawn**~ said...

74 days, 9 hours & 7 minutes. But who's counting?

Ted: I was not *suggesting* she would. I am certain you have done everything possible to lay a strong foundation for your daughter. I was actually feeling the horror of the possible dangers that lurk out there in the big evil world!

Ted D said...

Dawn, she ever comes home with a Yankee fan boyfriend, she's out of the will!

The fact the only thing she'll miss out on is my McFarlane figures not withstanding, she is OUT!

~**Dawn**~ said...

I take full responsibility for the nightmares you'll be having tonight. If it makes you feel any better, this is the sort of "issue" I take care of right away when I meet a new guy: "do you watch baseball? who is your team?" It's a very strict screening process. What can I say? I'm a picky girl.

Ted D said...

// If it makes you feel any better, this is the sort of "issue" I take care of right away when I meet a new guy: "do you watch baseball? who is your team?" It's a very strict screening process. What can I say? I'm a picky girl.//

It does make me feel better, and good for you.

Weed out the riff raff as soon as possible. Who needs that, right?

~**Dawn**~ said...

I cannot be seen fraternizing with the enemy.

Ted D said...

Angie thinks I'm nuts that I watch the all the games from the same place.

I haven't told her about the "lucky clothes".

You think I shoud spring that on her now, or wait until next year?

Tex said...

Ted she probably has noticed but figures it's better left alone. besides she knows all rational and logic is not a part of this by now

~**Dawn**~ said...

I am not sure that is something that can be explained. You either get it or you don't.

Ted D said...

Tex, you may be right: I probably ought to just try and change the subject.

And Dawn, she DEFINATELY doesn't get it: she is not a sports fan, though she did allow me to watch the final 3 outs of the '07 World Series beside the bed with her.

Because that's how I watched the final outs of the '04 World Series.

And no: I'm not superstitious.

~**Dawn**~ said...

Sox fan. Superstitious. One & the same.

Ted D said...

Dawn, Shh.

It's not being superstitious.

It's a quirk.

Go with me on this: my sofa is not the most comfortable thing in the world. ;)

~**Dawn**~ said...

Uhhh... right. A quirk. That all Sox fans have. Hmmm... maybe it's actually an extra piece of chromosome or something?

Ted D said...

//maybe it's actually an extra piece of chromosome or something?//

She'll buy that: it's medical and it's techincal.

I may have found a loophole.

Thanks, Dawn.

Tex said...

face it Ted. once bitten, you're hooked for life. its a drug

Ted D said...

I'm off to bed.

Ciera and her first dance have done me in.

Dawn and Tex: thanks for a fun night and for helping me retain my sanity. This first dance thing has messed with my head. I appreciate the diversion.

~**Dawn**~ said...

It wouls also explain why we all have the same "quirk" -- it just manifests itself in different ways, what with each of being unique & what have you. Glad to be of assistance. ;-)

JMP said...

Hey Ted,
How 'bout we arrange a marriage between my son Kyle and Ciera? He's 11 she 9....that would work! He's a Red Sox fan, his Dad's a red sox fan, his sisters are Red sox fans heck even our dog is a Red Sox fan!!!
My Wife like yours just tolerates my Sox fanaticism so they would have one thing in common.
At family gatherings we could hang out on the sofa drinking brewskis and watching the Sox live or recorded.
Sounds good to me!
Now if I could only get everyone else to follow along ....

Edge of Design said...

Brace yourself man! WAIT until the first date and if you think this first dance did you in, my goodness!
Of course, you could always do what my dh and I are going to do with our dd10's first date and that is that we'll go with them on a double date. Yeah I know. When I suggested that, it got the same look.
You know given your current method of escape, you may want to find another team to write and cheer about and have a double portion of escapism in your corner.

Ted D said...

jmp,

You got a deal. Though I imagine we're both gonna have to run this idea past our wives, 'cause I'm not to sure it's going to fly. I hope things are good for you with what you've had to deal with the last little bit: good to hear from you, man.

Edge, I'm starting to think that after last night, I may move all of us to Wyoming and just hermitize for the next 20 years.

First Date.

::weeps::

Stacy said...

I'm still smiling over Rakie trying to "borrow" his friend's toy. It's not his first step into a life of crime...he just likes the toy.

Oy, on the dance. Thank goodness Jared's school hasn't done that yet. It's bad enough in middle school. Libby didn't go to that many...just weren't as much fun as she imagined they would be. Maybe she can talk to Ciera. :)

~**Dawn**~ said...

//First Date. ::weeps:://

Shhhhh, Ted. Maybe this will help: We've reached terms to bring Timlin back again. (Or so the reports say.) 73 days til pitchers & catchers report.

Ted D said...

Stacy, he wasn't going to borrow it: he was TAKING it. And the dance, according to Ciera, was OK. So maybe now that the curtains been pulled back, it won't be so interesting.

And I'm going to keep telling myself that until I maybe believe it.

Ted D said...

Morning, Dawn.

I just saw that on Timlin: VERY good news, and if the reports are correct, he got a raise to boot.

73 days: that's just a little over 2 months. Maybe I can survive after all.

Tex said...

the flag still waves.


and back to the dance. since WHEN do schools have dances for NINE YR OLDS???

Ted D said...

That's what I wanna know, Tex. It was a dance for the 4th/5th grade. Now, to be fair, I didn't go to a single dance or prom the whole time I was in school. I think I was too cheap to swing for the limo.

Nancy said...

She's lovely, Ted. And you are so in trouble.

Ted D said...

Thanks, Nance: she takes after her Mum.

And I'm not sure "trouble" begins to cover it.

Tex said...

the first dance i recall was in jr high like 8th grade homecoming but NOT elementary school!!! That is certainly TOO young for kid dances. What's North Carolina trying to do? marry off the kids at age 15? ;)

and the boys who'll come around are the ones who have no clue what kind of trouble they are in for when they Meet the Parents :)

Ted D said...

Well, it is North Carolina, Tex. Cousins still get married down here. :)

You don't get in MY circle of trust without earning it, so them boys have a rough row to hoe.

Tex said...

\\so them boys have a rough row to hoe.//

::tells self Do NOT comment DO NOT COMMENT::

Ted D said...

Would you just stop? ;)

Stacy said...

Tex, I think it's ridiculous to have a dance for 4th and 5th graders, too :( I thought 6th grade was too young when Libby was in middle school.

Just let them be kids, for crying out loud.

Ted D said...

You two are preaching to the choir. I'm outvoted over here, though.

Tex, I'm experimenting with my blog: this could get ugly.

Stay tuned.

Tex said...

Ted. experimenting. blog.

This could get good. ive been trying to post another pic and am NOT having fun

Ted D said...

Add to the fact Rakes is now up from his nap, grumpy, and currently sitting on my lap.

This COULD be a train wreck.

Edge of Design said...

Okay, that's what I want to know. Is there any truth to that cousins marry cousins in NC or is that all just a little Southern humor? What say you?

Tex said...

the cousin marriages are all in the south. its cos families were so huge back then that cousins would meet and not know they were cousins till after the marriage.







:)

scott h said...

Tex that is a load. Out their cousins marry cousins because they are cuter than their sisters.

TED what the heck are you doing letting your daughter go to a dance in the 4th grade, You need to bow up. Think before you answer I have 3 daughters remember.

JMP said...

Tex and Ted,
Back when I was in school we started having dances in Middle School. I have had kids in school since 1996 and in Connecticut at that time the were having a 5th grade dance! And here in Florida-doo-daa they have them for 4th and 5th grade!
Geesh they start em young now days.

Ted D said...

Edge, more humor than reality now, but my Grandparents were second or third cousins.

Tex may be on to something, though.

Bub, you are mental: and any man who started dating his future wife when she was 14 and he was 21 should really keep quiet. Bub, Taylor's Mom stayed with them at the dance the whole time. And besides, I'd rather her go when the boys are 9 than when they are 13: none seems like a PERFECT time.

JMP, I think they start them young on everything: dances, clothes, music, etc.. It's tough.

Tex said...

my mom was 15 when she married my dad and he was 20. They've been married 62 yrs. Back then it was ok to marry that young. Funny how times change that belief

Ted D said...

Tex, they'd throw your Dad in jail today for that.

Tex said...

back then people got married that young. these days it aint about getting married, its about getting some young girl in the sack.

Ted D said...

Yep.

And Tex, my head hurts from banging it off the monitor.

I'm trying to figure out this slideshow option we have available now, but I'm having zero luck.

This sucks.

HorshamScouse said...

I'm old enough to remember Jerry Lee Lewis getting thrown out of the UK because he had a 13 year old wife(?). Thinking about it, it may have been because they were cousins....

Peter N said...

Being a DAD is wonderful, isn't it? Be well, and have a great Sunday as we approach that wild week called the winter meetings!! Peter

Peter N said...

And horshamscouse, they WERE cousins...I'm pretty sure!

Ted D said...

Horsham, remembering from the movie with Dennis Quaid, she was his first cousin. I'm pretty sure the fact she was 13 played a bigger part in the controversy. L

Edge of Design said...

Personally, I'm all for arranged marriages myself. My dd's marriage is already arranged so I can just relax and watch y'all stress yourselves out over this.

Ted D said...

Edge,

How about no marriage? I'm actually more down with that idea.

Tex said...

ted. im sure ciera will NOT agree to No Marriage. Be happy with the fact she wasn't even interested in the whole dance thing. as long as ya arent encouraging her to grow up...she'll stay a kid. Heck I remember my mom having to talk to me while i was underneath my bed refusing to come out






she had bought me my first bra in the 5th grade. mind you i NEEDED one. but I was just shy

Edge of Design said...

Ted, maybe none of us will have to worry about our children marrying. The Lord may just be back before then. It's sure looking like it these days, huh?

Ted D said...

//but I was just shy//

Well, you certainly have changed since childhood! And Tex, believe me, I'm happy she was just interested in her friends, and not the boys. That's why I wrote how happy I was they were leaving early because they wanted to watch the Polar Express.

Denise, that has been the family joke with me ever since Ciera was born: then I won't have to worry about it. I tell Angie the same thing, but with her it's before she hits menopause.

Tex said...

well well well.

Lookie what Tedders learned WITHOUT anyone else's help.

Good Job!

Stacy said...

Great slide show, Ted. :)

Now, give us a new post!

Tex said...

stacy you know Ted can only use one brain cell a day. :)

Ted D said...

Do I detect a note of sarcasm in your tone, Tex? I'm actually surprised I figured it out! And Stacy, she's right: I spent hours trying to do that last night.

I'll try to have a new one up tonight some time.