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Monday, November 19, 2007

Ted Nugent has NOTHING on us

Looks like that Thunderdome I predicted yesterday came true.

Sitting at the computer at the office (ie: My folks house) this morning, eyes glazed over from lack of sleep and caffeine, I heard the sound of little feet coming up the stairs.

Actually, it was more like a thundering herd of wildebeests charging full steam ahead: you guessed it. Rakes.

Mom was watching the boys so Ang could clean house for her lunatic Aunt, and by the look in his eye, big doings were afoot. Holding his cup of apple juice in one hand and a facial expression usually seen on people who have just won the lotto, he says:

"Daddy: dere is a dead mouse (pronounced the way Sylvester the Cat would do it: MOUSTHE) in Nanny's boom(broom) closet. And it's still MOBING (moving)! Tome on Dad, let's do see it!"

Of course, it was dead, but you would have thought he'd had found the prize in the box of Captain Crunch: he wanted to know where it's head was (the trap was upside down), what was in his mouth, and could he touch it. Could he touch it? I had rubber gloves on and was holding this thing like it was radioactive: no WAY he is touching this filthy rodent. Now remember, Trot is in the house too. He's 2 feet behind me with my Mom holding onto the waist of his pants, trying to keep him from grabbing the mouse and running to the closest toilet to try and flush it away, all the while yelling like some deranged myna bird.

As I'm walking to the door, the conversation goes as follows:

Rakes: What you donna do with it, Dad?

Me: Throw it in the woods, Rakes.

Rakes: Why, Dad?

Me: Because it's dead, son.

Rakes: You donna throw it by the tail, Dad? (I imagine he asked this because if HE was doing it, that mouse would be swung around in the air like a cowboy roping a calf for 20 seconds).

I told this story to one of my customers later on in the day. They wanted to know if Santa would bring the boys a hamster for Christmas. Like I would give those two a living, breathing thing to take care of. They'd have it's tail tied to the ceiling fan swinging a plastic bat at it within 45 minutes. Either that, or holding it's head under the water to see if it could hold it's breath.

Finally, Christmas came early this year: it looks like the Mike Lowell Saga has come to it's proper conclusion: Mikey back in a Red Sox uniform for the next 3 years.

Late Sunday night it sounds like the Phillies made it interesting, offering a 4 year, $50 million dollar deal: unlike others, it seems like Lowell decided being happy, on a winning team, and in a city that loves you is worth more than the $10-12 million extra. Senor Doubles appears to also be Senor Class.

Welcome back, Mikey.

33 comments:

Tex said...

Rakes: What you donna do with it, Dad?

SO he CAN say my name :)

I dont EVEN want to tell you my dead bird story

Ted D said...

I'm officially scared.

Tex has a dead bird story.

And Tex, he's already asking when "Aunt Tex" is coming for a visit. You'd best make that family reunion next year.

Edge of Design said...

Ted, I am amazed at your mom's progress. It's not difficult to know Who she gets her strength from. An amazing recovery and an amazing testimony indeed. From your story, you'd never know she had surgery whatsoever.

Ted D said...

Denise, she's pretty amazing. She was only sore for a day or so after surgery.

She meets her oncologist this morning at 10:30 to talk about treatment options: we're all hoping he can postpone treatment for a week or so for her and Dad to go to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving and see my sisters.

Redbeard76 said...

I'm surprised you didn't have the "when mice die, do they go to mousey heaven" discussion.

~**Dawn**~ said...

Ted? Your boys are adorable but I see how you're exhausted. They are a busy crew!

Ted D said...

Stephen, I think the excitement of the dead mouse trumped any deep questions he had.

Dawn, they are great most of the time. And if you think I'm exhausted, think about my poor wife.

Tree Newt said...

Dude, why can't this stuff happen when I'm up there? That would have been worth dealing with your sourpuss in the office for a few hours! The things I miss!

scott h said...

Were are you? Start of 6 day weekend and you are not on.

Ted D said...

Were am I? I'm right here.

Just watching Hells Kitchen on the Internets and dealing with Rakes thinking it's funny to get up and crack his door 1,433 times.

Mattie, they save all the crazy stuff for me: I'm pretty sure they mean to do it.

scott h said...

Leave the door open and he can't crack it.

I went over to the Pope of Benson's blog. If he gets any deeper he will be eating with chopsticks.

Tex said...

is it new years yet?

Ted D said...

Bub, the Pope is the Pope: I think that horse has left the barn. Bigger issue is I can't believe Tex hasn't blasted you for losing to her states minor league affiliate.


Tex, it's gotta be New Years somewhere. Rough week so far?

Tex said...

\\Bigger issue is I can't believe Tex hasn't blasted you for losing to her states minor league affiliate.//

?????

Rough week and its only Tuesday. i need jesters in my court

Ted D said...

Tex, OU lost to Texas Tech this past week. Scotty is in mourning. Or denial. Take your pick.

Tex said...

OU? whats that?

Tex said...

is that a jr. college?

Ted D said...

Some football team that used to be good, Tex.

My sister Sheri is hoping OSU wipes the floor with them this weekend.

I could care less, other than Scott will turn comatose if that happens. So I'm pulling for OSU.

Edge of Design said...

Are you sleeping any better these days now that your Mike has been signed?

~**Dawn**~ said...

Zzzzzzzz...
;-)

Ted D said...

::stretches arms, big yawn::

What's that Denise? Still waking up this morning.

Stacy said...

Ted, what is a little scary is that Rakie seems to have that same expression in EVERY picture.

Ted D said...

Stacy, he's a miniature version of Norman Bates: that expression is completely normal.

~**Dawn**~ said...

I once had a cat named Norman... after Norman Bates. His food dish said "Psycho" on it. =P

Ted D said...

Dawn, do you still have the food dish? You could send it to Rakes for Christmas. ;)

Redbeard76 said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your fam too Ted!

Ted D said...

Thanks, Stephen.

Travel safe.

HorshamScouse said...

Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving, Ted. My ancestors say 'You're welcome':)

Ted D said...

Thanks, Horsham. And thanks to your ancestors!

Check your email when you get a chance. I'm guessing they don't have Thanksgiving in New Zealand, but if you did, I hope yours was great. Being away from your family must be pretty tough.

scott h said...

Come on Bro, I saw Nugent 25 yrs ago and my ears still hurt.

Have you told the off springs their is a wishbone in the turkey yet?

Ted D said...

Bub, I was referring to his hunting skills. I do remeber you telling me Nugent laid his guitar against an amp for 20 minutes during "Cat Scratch Fever" though.

No on the wishbone: they don't need anything else to fight about!

Christine E. said...

Evening everyone:

Ted: Your stories about your kids are...the...best...

even if you weren't one of my favorite Red Sox fans, I would read you...cracks me RIGHT up

Hey! Did you hear? We got Miek Lowell ;-) Whooo HOOO!!

Hope everyone is well and that you have the most amazing Thanksgiving!

Go Sox!

Ted D said...

Hi Christine!

And thank you for the compliment: I just happen to have really good material to work with.

I heard something about Mike Lowell coming back, but wasn't sure. ;)

Same to you: I hope you have a fantastic Thanksgiving weekend.