Have you ever gotten home after dark and thought about hanging Christmas lights on the tree in front of your house? In fact, not only YOUR house but the nice widow woman who lives next door? If so, can I give you a bit of advice?
DON'T DO IT.
The fact I told Rakes and Ciera they could "help" me may be coloring my advice just a little: throw in Trot figuring out how to get out the front door, my aforementioned widow neighbor trying to hold the ladder, and everyone in the universe picking tonight to drive down our street on the way home, and you've got a recipe for an epic meltdown by Ted.
Do you realize it's EXTREMELY stressful to be on the top of a 12 foot step ladder with a strand of Christmas lights in one hand and a paint roller extension in the other while a not yet 2 year old is playing in the street while headlights are coming down the road?
If you didn't: Trust me.
Add to the equation a wife with a previously unknown knowledge of EXACTLY how the lights should be strung, a faulty drop cord that keeps tripping the breaker, and Rakes figuring 6:30 pm was the PERFECT time to ride his scooter in the road, and you'll get some idea of how the night went.
And I STILL don't have my lights up on the tree: I'm starting to feel like Bill Murray in "Groundhog Day".
At least I still have this going for me:
On the 97th anniversary of his birth.
22 hours ago