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Friday, January 11, 2008

Wake's Security Blanket Is Back

Without a lot of fanfare, the Red Sox announced they were bringing back knuckleball catching extraordinaire Doug Mirabelli for another season. Watching other guys try to corral that thing brings back memories of Mr. Myiagi teaching Daniel-San how to catch flies with a pair of chopsticks, so for that reason alone I'm excited. But there is something else about Dougie that appeals to the members of Red Sox Nation.

What it is? I have no idea. He's out of shape, can't run worth a lick, and is lucky if he hits over .200. That said, every time he comes to bat the chant "Dougies going deep" reverberates all over the country; he's like a Muppet come to life.

Awhile back, I found a funny post called "A Day In The Life Of Doug Mirabelli" over at The Mighty Quinn Media Machine that made me laugh out loud multiple times; best line?" Dougie tells Trot if he played 162 Games his numbers would look like this: .375 average, 72 HRs, 52 Doubles, 9 Singles, 6 Walks, 220 K'S".

It takes 25 guys to win a championship; for every David Ortiz there is a Doug Mirabelli catching the guy who should have played in the '70's every 5 days. A guy who'll fill in for Tek when they play a doubleheader, who sits in the bullpen and flips sunflower seeds with the rest of the Pirates, and who more than likely is the guy who gave Johnny Pesky that hotfoot. He's your prototypical no-hit, good field back up catcher that usually play 15 years and nobody has ever heard of him.

Not Dougie; after he signed with the Padres as a free agent after the '05 season, the Red Sox came to the following realization; they had a pitcher nobody on the team could, you know, CATCH. They completed a trade to get him back, and the guy got a POLICE ESCORT BACK TO FENWAY that was covered live on NESN. You'd think he was Tom Cruise visiting Norway. ('Cause we all know Tom is HUGE in Norway)

I'm glad he's coming back to catch Timmy. It's good to know I won't have to shotgun a bottle of Pepto-Bismal while wondering how many passed balls Kevin Cash is gonna have trying to catch the knuckler.

Mostly though, I'm looking forward to yelling "Dougie just went deep" a few more times.

25 comments:

Nancy said...

That's what we need for Tedapalooza--a police escort!

Ted D said...

Thanks Nance, but I'm pretty sure there won't be that much interest in my visting Boston.

::it would be pretty cool though. Maybe if I leak the fact Tex is coming there will be additional police presence available::

Tex said...

why do I get dragged into this every time?? Im innocent I tell ya INNOCENT!

Ted D said...

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck...

Just messin' with you Tex. I told Ang tonight how much it meant to me you were coming to Boston for my first visit.

I kid because I heard.

Tree Newt said...

Ok, I guess I'm just not very observant, but when did the bombshell news event of the year come down the wire:

TEX IS GOING TO BE IN BEANTOWN FOR TEDAPALOOZA?

Oh yeah, and glad Dougie's back.

Ted D said...

Oat muffin, I can't tell if you're being serious or just a dink. But yes, Tex is flying to Boston for the big event.

Tree Newt said...

I didn't realize Tex was going to be there, so I was being serious about that. A tad sarcastic with the "bombshell news event of the year" comment, though.

Tex said...

well thanks for the compliment but I havent been called a bombshell since my 20's ;)

Ted D said...

Sorry man, I thought I had told you. I told everybody else!

And Tex, you'll always be a bombshell to me. ;)

Tree Newt said...

Touche' Tex, Touche'!

Ted D said...

Mattie, I'm pretty sure I included the fact Tex was coming in a post I did the other week. Sorry 'bout that.

You have GOT to tell me how to find Horace's blog!

Tex said...

who's Horace? and why is he writing a blog?

Ted D said...

He's Matties insane (in a good way) father-in-law, Tex. It has to be a hoot.

Tex said...

never thought id be the cause of blogitis in the Dalton gang.

ya think scott will ever join the cult?

Ted D said...

It's sort of ironic isn't it? ;)

And no, he won't. Because the way it is now he can blast away at Matt and myself without us having the chance to do the same.

I wish he would though; it would be hilarious.

Tex said...

well all the same. he'd just blog about those goofy sooners

Ted D said...

True. And whatever team of the week he was pulling for at the time. I have to say he's been pretty loyal to the Sooners and the Dallas Cowboys over the years. His baseball/basketball/hockey not so much.

Tree Newt said...

Ted, I rarely really pay attention to anything you have to say on this rag. ;)

Horace's blog is actually a site he's setting up for his church. I say he's setting it up, when in actuality, I'm the one doing all the work.

It would be classic if he did one, though.

Ted D said...

I knew that, corn muffin.

I hate to hear it's just one for the church. If he did a blog, he may out Foxworthy Jeff Foxworthy.

The Omnipotent Q said...

Thank you so much, RSD, for linking the Doug Mirabelli post from my blog!

Ted D said...

No problem, Q. You've got a great blog over there. And that was one of the funniest things I had seen!

Nichole said...

After seeing you post for months over at Dawn's blog, I had a chance to come over and check out your blog! I like! And I'll be back.

As far as Dougie, sometimes when his batting average is about half (or less) his weight, I get a little frustrated. But I quickly remind myself the terror in Wake's eyes when Cash was behind the plate and forgive him.

Is it baseball season yet?

Ted D said...

Hi Nichole and thanks for stopping by. I still remember Tek having to catch that thing during the ALCS in '04 and the panic I felt everytime he threw it. So I welcome Dougie back with open arms.

Come back anytime!

~**Dawn**~ said...

Dougie's triumphant return to Boston is one of my all-time favorite Sox moments. Although I do have to say that I could have handled Cash, because Wake said that he was very comfortable pitching to him. I know he never said that about The Bard Experiment. That being said though: LONG LIVE THE WAKABELLI SHOW!

Ted D said...

It was classic, right Dawn? Motorcycle escort, live coverage, all for a back up catcher!

Gotta love Dougie.