For some strange reason, Ang took Rakes grocery shopping tonight. Why would she voluntarily take him when I was home and available to guard the valuables? I'm going with temporary insanity.
In the end, I'm REALLY glad she did, because it gave me my post for tonight. Apparently, taking Rakes grocery shopping is the G rated version of "Richard Pryor: Live on the Sunset Strip".
From LOUDLY proclaiming that "we dust DOT to have dis, Mom" while on the feminine hygiene aisle, to lying prostrate on the floor at one point and uttering "I tan't do on, Mom", shopping with Rakes is a competitive sport.
At one point he threw 4 rump roasts into the shopping cart when Ang's back was turned and a short while later, upon seeing some Chicken of the Sea cans, loudly proclaimed "We DOTTA have dis, Mom. If we eat it, we'll turn into MERMAIDS!"
After procuring a "Pirates of the Caribbean" tattoo pack, he finally settled down enough for Angie to get home with the groceries. Bless her heart, Ang somehow ended up around $13 dollars over what she was banking on.
Turns out Rakes snuck in 3 cans of Tuna, 2 cans of Vienna Sausages, and one box of Hamburger Helper not on the list, along with three large cans of Chipotle Chili.
At least it wasn't a box of Maxi Pads.
Finally, I'm ending my day watching an exhibition between the Red Sox and the Dodgers from the LA Coliseum. It's roughly 200 feet down the LF line with a 60 foot high screen to counter the small dimensions.
I'm pretty sure when Rakes starts T-Ball next month, it'll be farther than that to hit one out.
Also, I'll go out on a limb and say that Tanner Boyle will have NOTHING on my boy once he starts to play.
Now I know why Morris Buttermaker was always drinking.
Never Have I Ever...
1 day ago