Saturday, March 29, 2008

Shopping With Rakes

For some strange reason, Ang took Rakes grocery shopping tonight. Why would she voluntarily take him when I was home and available to guard the valuables? I'm going with temporary insanity.

In the end, I'm REALLY glad she did, because it gave me my post for tonight. Apparently, taking Rakes grocery shopping is the G rated version of "Richard Pryor: Live on the Sunset Strip".

From LOUDLY proclaiming that "we dust DOT to have dis, Mom" while on the feminine hygiene aisle, to lying prostrate on the floor at one point and uttering "I tan't do on, Mom", shopping with Rakes is a competitive sport.

At one point he threw 4 rump roasts into the shopping cart when Ang's back was turned and a short while later, upon seeing some Chicken of the Sea cans, loudly proclaimed "We DOTTA have dis, Mom. If we eat it, we'll turn into MERMAIDS!"

After procuring a "Pirates of the Caribbean" tattoo pack, he finally settled down enough for Angie to get home with the groceries. Bless her heart, Ang somehow ended up around $13 dollars over what she was banking on.

Turns out Rakes snuck in 3 cans of Tuna, 2 cans of Vienna Sausages, and one box of Hamburger Helper not on the list, along with three large cans of Chipotle Chili.

At least it wasn't a box of Maxi Pads.

Finally, I'm ending my day watching an exhibition between the Red Sox and the Dodgers from the LA Coliseum. It's roughly 200 feet down the LF line with a 60 foot high screen to counter the small dimensions.

I'm pretty sure when Rakes starts T-Ball next month, it'll be farther than that to hit one out.

Also, I'll go out on a limb and say that Tanner Boyle will have NOTHING on my boy once he starts to play.

Now I know why Morris Buttermaker was always drinking.


~**Dawn**~ said...

I've heard there's more blue than red there tonight. I don't have it on. I can't watch anymore exhibition ball. They've already teased me with the real thing.

And yes, I earned my New England Winter stripes, thank you very much. Waiting for the school bus with the world covered in snow & ice, with snow banks taller than I was on either side of the driveway. Playing in drifts of snow til I had as much snow in my boots as there was in the yard & my hands were frozen inside mittens coated in a layer of hard-packed snow. Digginf my car out of a snow drift by hand -- literally. I'm done with Winter. =P

Ted D said...

Dawn, it's surprised me, but it SOUNDS like there are a lot of Dodger fans there tonight.

It's 5-1 Sox in the bottom of the 4th, btw.

Yeah, I'd say you've earned your stripes and I completely understand why you live in Florida. If I had to deal with that for 25 years, I probably would too.

FYI, I picked up Lugo in my other Fantasy league tonight!!

I also got Papi though, so it should balance out. ;)

~**Dawn**~ said...

I have some photos of my Winters in CT. I will have to scan them in for the blog some time.

Redbeard informed me who he got on his team. I think I can take Lugo over *that*. I am not sure if I can continue associating with Redbeard at this point in time. ;-)

Ted D said...

He really dissapointed me, Dawn. ;(

I thought he knew better.


I can proudly say no Yankees are on my other team.

And Lugo is on BOTH of them!

I got Papi, Tavarez, and Lugo. All in all, I'm pretty happy with my team. And I can sleep at night, which is more than Stephen can say. ;)

~**Dawn**~ said...

I asked him how he could have Jeter & Wang on his team & not root for them. I mean, he can't actually want them to do poorly. =P

I have 3 teams total and not a single Yankee among them.

Redbeard76 said...

well somebody had to pick up some yankees. i know it's heresy in a room full of sox fans but there are other teams besides the sox, especially where fantasy is concerned.

~**Dawn**~ said...

Yes Redbeard, there are 29 other teams. Just not *that* one. I have lots of players I like to root for from other teams, even without fantasy baseball. You know you have to take some ribbing. ;-)

Ted D said...

Stephen, you know I'm just busting on you a little bit. But as a Sox fan, if you take some Yankees you know they'll be some ribbing to follow.

Hey, if it's any consolation you'll probably beat me into submission. :)

Tex said...

so i would venture to say that Rakes will not be allowed to ever go grocery shopping when he gets older.

one more game....and finally REAL Baseball

Ted D said...

Yeah, Tex. That's a pretty good assumption. ;)

Although from what Angie said, the other shoppers thought he was quite the comedian.

And thankfully, only one more game until they count. I went over the schedule this morning, and April is gonna be tough. After Toronto, we have Detroit, the Yankees, Cleveland, and the Angels to play, with a few against the Rays thrown in.

~**Dawn**~ said...

I'll be at one of the Rays games (Apr 27)! Woohoo! I believe JMP has tickets for the same game.

Tex said...

\\Although from what Angie said, the other shoppers thought he was quite the comedian//

well of course, they did. But last time i looked, there isn't any job openings for stand up comic in a grocery store...and the other shoppers were not the ones have to corral him. So yah...I see kids acting funny all the time and giggle...but under my breath I'm glad its them and not me :)

all kidding aside...i hope both of you just enjoy Rakes and his personality. i know it can be frustrating but as my boss keeps telling me "This too shall pass"

Tree Newt said...

Dude, Rakes is carrying on the tradition. Can you imagine all the cereal we snuck into the cart as kids? Why else do you think we had so many boxes all the time? You need to buy her a phone with video capabilities, because "America's Funniest Grand Champion" is in his future. Guaranteed.

And what's wrong with picking Yankees for fantasy ball?

Hee, hee.

Ted D said...

Dawn, that's awesome. I remember you saying you had tickets to a couple of different series. Tell JMP I said to buy you a hotdog.

Tex, I used to laugh at kids doing that. Until I had my own. We laughed until we cried last night over him and he laughed along with us. It's just the times when he's defiant that just test the boundries. Your boss is a wise man, Tex.

Newt, I know. But there is NO WAY I was as active as that tazmanian devil is. No way.

Redbeard76 said...

No worries, I knew it was to be expected. However will I sleep at night for the next 6 months?

I was more concerned that my team was going to be all NLers that I don't really know all that well. And I'm starting the season now with 2 on the DL... arghhh.

Ted D said...

Stephen, be prepared for nightmares the next 6 months, man.

I'm just sayin'.