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Thursday, March 13, 2008

Step One

As a card carrying member of the OCD club, I've dealt with all sorts of stuff over the last several years.

The birth of three children while I somehow managed to stay upright and conscious.

More nights than I care to remember where I checked the same freaking lock for the 30th time.

Winters spent with cracked and bleeding hands from all the stupid hand washing I've done. Although I curtailed that pretty much when I decided MY skin wouldn't touch a public door.

Ever.

My tie, jacket, and sleeve get a pretty good workout now. If you're a guy, you sort of know what I'm saying. Men? They're pigs. If you've ever seen a guy do his business, check his hair in the mirror, then walk out of a public restroom without so much as a glance at the sink, you know what I'm talking about. So I just avoid touching ANYTHING after I've washed my hands. So far? So good.

Which brings me to tonight. As some of you know, I haven't been on a plane in 11 years. After Ang and I celebrated our 5th anniversary in Cancun (the night before we left, she told me she was pregnant with Ciera) we were flying back to Raleigh, NC and for no apparent reason, I panicked. I haven't been on a plane since then.

63 days from now, I'm shipping myself up to Boston. Much to Ang's chagrin, it seems that a weekend in Boston, by myself and going to 3 games at Fenway, is my magical cure.

Only it isn't. I'm freaking out just thinking about it. Today, I took the first step in assuring I'll actually do it. I went to the airport.

I wanted to see where I'd need to be dropped off and I even went inside to find the Skybus terminal, just so I knew where I needed to go. And I didn't pass out, although I did have sweaty palms and my left leg wouldn't stop doing it's best impression of a jackhammer.

Wow.

I'm more of a Ninny than I thought I was.

29 comments:

HorshamScouse said...

Way to go Ted. I know you'll get on that plane, have a great flight to Boston and cry like a baby when you get to Fenway.

What's step 2? Going back to Westover and getting drunk in the airport bar?:)

Ted D said...

Hey Horsham!

Step 2 is actually getting on the plane and NOT causing the FAA to take some sort of action.

Skybus sells everything: I wonder if they'll sell me a paper bag to hyperventilate in.

I'm pretty sure there is a line in Vegas right now on whether I'll cry or not once I get to Fenway.

beckperson said...

Let's just say it's a good thing you're coming to the "new" Fenway. The pre-John Henry version would have given you heart failure.

:-)

Ted D said...

Becks, I'm not sure what you mean, and I'm pretty sure I don't wanna know!

Edge of Design said...

There's a lot of folk that share your fear and anxiety. My friend and I told the stewardess that it was our first flight. They were awesome. They told us if it was too much, to close our eyes. They brought us pillows, a newspaper to read, a deck of cards and even a set, each, of plastic airplane wings. They checked on us throughout the flight. It helped!

Ted D said...

Edge, the problem is that I'm flying on, apparently, an airline that doubles as a flea market. A fellow sales rep who used them to fly from FL to NC said the flight attendants work on commission, and spend the whole time trying to sell you something!

NOTHING is complimentary: Coke? $4. Pillow? $10. Bag of peanuts? $4.

You get the idea.

Tex said...

well at least they're not selling life insurance policies

Tree Newt said...

Ted, no bookie would take that line. It's a guaranteed loss.

Tex, that last comment is CLASSIC.

Ted D said...

::sticks tongue out at Tex::

Corn Meal, don't bet against me. I'm tougher than I look.

Redbeard76 said...

Not to worry Ted, we'll get you good and buzzed before you have to get back on that plane going home. Ruby Tuesday does serve alcohol. As long as Massachusetts doesn't have some weird liquor law where you can't buy booze until 1:55 in the afternoon, we're good.

Ted D said...

Stephen, I'm honestly scared that'd make it worse.

I think I'll practice those breathing excersises I learned when Ang and I took Lamaze classes.

They oughta at least be good for something, since when I was in the delivery room all 3 times I just stood in the corner and tried not to faint.

Redbeard76 said...

In that case, I've got a good supply of small brown paper bags for you to hyperventilate into. Or toss your cookies into.

Ted D said...

SOLD, Stephen!

Redbeard76 said...

Or better yet, if you need a plane buddy to fly with you to NC I could do that. I wouldn't mind getting away from the fam for a few days, although wifey might object.

Tex said...

::bows gracefully::

sorry no time for autographs

Ted D said...

Fine with me, man. But you'd best get Jess' permission.

I don't want a busted marriage on my resume.

Redbeard76 said...

I'm joking Ted, I ain't going anywhere.

Ted D said...

Great.

Now I've gotta fly alone again.

::wonders if the pilot would let me take the wheel.::

Redbeard76 said...

Here's an idea, sneak Steve the Ferret into your pocket and he can ride with you. Then you can air mail him back to Kelly.

Tex said...

ted bring rakes with you....i bet you'd get all the food and drinks for free just to keep him quiet :)

Edge of Design said...

Seems to me like the battle is in our mind. You're going to be fine. You may even have fun. You could always talk RedSox with the person beside you. It will take your mind off the flight itself. God's angels will be minding the plane so you can let go and relax.

~**Dawn**~ said...

Would it make you feel better to know how many times I have flown in the last two years? Or what about the number of times the *Sox* will fly during the 2008 season? =) It will all be ok.

Ted D said...

Tex, either that or they'd divert the plane and make us get off.

Edge, it's definately in my mind.

Dawn, the rational part of my brain realizes I'm being an idiot. There were 0 deaths from planes in the US last year.

Not sure what the driving totals were, but it's gotta be in the upper thousands. So it's just a matter of me just getting over my own weak mind.

~**Dawn**~ said...

See now if you were me, you would just bring a photo of Mike Lowell to fixate on for the duration of the flight. ;-)

Ted D said...

I posted at SG the other day that it'll go by quick 'cause I'm pretty sure I'll be crying the whole time anyway, Dawn.

I'll actually try to read, and avoid looking out the window.

Tex said...

id come afly with you. but im afraiod after ai sat at the bar wthey wouldnt let me getgeton

Ted D said...

Tex, you are truly one of a kind!!!

And I appreciate the sentiment, but you're right. There may be some issues.

Krystle [RSO] said...

My advice? try getting a CD player (I was going to say MP3 player, but I have a funny feeling that would be Ciera's in no time.) I did that when I flew the first time and it helped. Also, sit near a window seat

If that helps at all.

Ted D said...

Hey, thanks Krystle. Ciera actually has a MP3 player, but there is no way she's letting me borrow it. ;)