Monday, June 9, 2008

Sons and Daughters

My brother Matt and his wife Amanda, already parents to a beautiful little girl named Caroline (not named after the Neil Diamond song: I'm the mental case when it comes to the Red Sox) found out today they are having another little girl a little later on this year.

Which I find hysterical. In the Coyote gets hit in the head with an anvil, Moe hits Larry and Curly with a hammer, and Slappy gets hit with a fastball to the gibleys sort of way.

With two daughters he'll be a basket case when they hit the age of 14, won't know a good nights sleep for years afterwords, and may take up competitive shooting as a hobby. However, he's gonna miss out on a few things.

Like watching a 4 year old run through the house buck naked, shaking his willy with no HINT of self consciousness. Or peeing outside the door of the van. IN THE GARAGE. He'll miss the 4,009 questions he'll get about why that guy in the X-Men has claws, how do the Power Rangers fight like that, and why does Big Papi stay in the dugout when everyone else is in the field.

He'll never get the pleasure of watching food flying about the kitchen like fireworks on the 4th of July, sword fights with Yard Sticks and spatula's, and the question with no answer: How can Han Solo be Indiana Jones?

He'll still get memories like this:

Plus he gets to pay for TWO weddings and will be chugging Antacids for about 10 straight years.


Congratulations, little brother.

Welcome to the Jungle.


Tree Newt said...

Hey, what's all this "he'll never get to experience" this and that? You think we're done? We're just getting started!!!!

And Caroline will be playing hockey, if I have anything to say about it. She's already fascinated with the splits! Can you say "GOALIE!" eh?

And bro, I won't be the only one chugging antacid when our kids are teens. Butch and Sundance are going to put you through your paces!

Ted D said...

Trust me, Newt. You've gotta be off your rocker to have three. You're done. ;)

Hockey for Caroline? You'd best get yourself ready for ballet and jazz, little brother.

Butch and Sundance are boys. I'll probably be giving them pep talks; good luck with the 2 teenage girls!!!

Tex said...

he'll have to rent out rakes and trot as big brothers to scare off the locals

Ted D said...

Rakes and Trot won't come cheap, Tex. Mattie is gonna pay through the nose for them. ;)

~**Dawn**~ said...

I think what your brother is missing here is that while boys scare you with what they might do, having daughters means you are still scared of what the boys will do! ;-)

Ted D said...

Well said, Dawn!

Mattie, you are SO going to need a shrink. ;)

Krystle [RSO] said...

Awh, a little girl. My family is all girls (I'm an only child but all of my 1st cousins are girls.) When we heard that my older cousin was pregnant, we wanted a boy and were excited when she had one! However, if they ever met Rakes I don't know how much my cousin would want a boy =p! Congrats Uncle Ted!

Gotta agree with Dawn on that one, it's almost well...true!

Again, congrats on the niece! *goes back to put her head in the freezer!*

Ted D said...

Krystle, Rakes would cure anyone of wanting a girl. And stay cool up there!

Stacy said...

Rakes has a good point; how CAN Han Solo be Indiana Jones? :)

Matt will never get in the bathroom at his house once those girls become pre-teens. :)

Ted D said...

Heh. Serves the little tree hugger right. He needs to install an outhouse out back with Rusty.

beckperson said...

Congratulations to Mattie and Mrs. Mattie! Girls are great.

Ted D said...

Yes they are, Becks. I'm really happy for him. Have fun in Cincinnati later this week.