Saturday, July 12, 2008

I swear. He gets it from his Mother.

I swear. One day, when I get the time or I'm committed to an institution, I'm writing a book. Not just any book, but one where I lay out in finite detail what it's like to raise an absolute maniac for a son.

From finding him playing the PS2 looking like the lost member of The Village People to his total obsession with all things Star Wars, it's all coming out.

And when I do, they'll be a chapter called "Things Rakes said that made me laugh so hard I peed my pants".

Take Thursday for example.

Having just taken swimming lessons the other week, the little Tazmanian Devil can now jump off the side of the pool and swim, all by himself, to the steps. Only thing is, he hasn't quite grasped the concept of not drinking the pool water. Which leads to some wicked scary trips to the bathroom.

So it was I found myself taking him to the restroom at the pool for the THIRD time the other day, and he was making noises that put Jeff Bridges, after taking that laxative in Dumb and Dumber to shame.

Actual conversation between Rakes and Me in the poolhouse bathroom:

Me: You OK, bud?

Rakes: Yep.

Me: Are you done yet?

Rakes: Dad. Ben your done pooping, your bottom gets to breathe. BEALLY loud, Dad. Me done.

Me: :: rolling on the floor, LMAO::

Can I just say that being a Dad has it's moments?

And when those moments come, they are one's for the ages.

Over in Boston tonight, Wake went 7 innings, gave up 2 hits, 1BB, and 6 K's. JD and Manny went back to back, and Youk hit a Grand Slam and had a career high 6 RBI's in a 12-1 win over the Orioles. Throw in a Rays loss, and the boys head into Sunday .5 games out of first place.

I love this team.


Tex said...

well you know. you could sell your blog material to some comedian and they could make a show out of it.

im just sayin

Ted D said...

I'm copyrighting the whole thing as we speak.

If ANYONE is making money off this trainwreck, it's ME.

Pray for me.

Tex said...

remember. Trot is taking notes. im done for the night. talk to you later. night

Ted D said...

Night, Sis.

Trot will be 10 times worse.

You heard it here first.

I'm gonna need some shrink money in about 2 years.

Redbeard76 said...

Have I been gone only a week or was it a year? I say that since it appears Rakes has aged a year in my absence. He's looking tougher every day.

Do I need to call foul on the superfluous '?

It's strange settling back into reality after being in the woods. It feels weird being indoors once again.

Ted D said...

Welcome back, Redbeard! Hope the vacation was great and I'm guessing Sierra had a ball. Looking forward to hearing all about it from you and Jess.

I think it's his haircut; we got him skinned this week and he reminds me of the kid in "Sling Blade".

Krystle said...

Oh Rakes, TOO FUNNY! I still say he has to meet my little cousin, even if she does get a little well I don't know - weirded out? As for that outfit - OH MY!

I can't wait to hear the Trot stories...maybe?

I LOVE Youk's and Manny's smile in that picture - they look like little kids and that's not something you say about Youk - ever.

Just so you know - I think on Friday, they're having a "Manny being Mannython" on NESN. If you get really bored - something you can watch =].

Ted D said...

Krystle, I'm sure I'll have at least as many tales, and maybe more, about Trot.

Thanks for letting me know about the Manny marathon. Hopefully I can catch some after work!

Krystle said...

It's from 1 to 9, because the West Coast games start so you may have some time to watch them.

I think someone should relate ALL of these stories to Big Trot and see how much he just laughs.

Oh and this is the one time I wish that "Kids Say the Darnest Things" was still on TV.

Ted D said...

He'd probably just look at them like they've got 2 heads!

And you don't know how many times I've wished I had the video camera in my hand when I've walked in on them doing something crazy!

Sarah said...

I have to say, I have really enjoyed reading your blog over the last couple of weeks. Your kids are adorable (even if they are little terrors). But this one picture, at the top of this page, with your son surfing on DVDs and VHS? You MUST make sure that picture resurfaces at your boy's wedding. EVERYONE needs to see that picture (as if complete strangers aren't enough, haha).

Ted D said...

Hey Sarah! Thanks for reading and for the compliments on the kids.

Trust me: it's all being saved to be used ata future date and if he ever talks some poor soul into marrying him, this is being blown up into a life size cardboard cutout!