Just when I think I've got this game figured out, they go and change the rules on me. And by that I mean just when I know I'm gonna have to watch nine innings of a game feeling like some gremlin is hitting me in the gibleys with a ball peen hammer, the Red Sox make it interesting.
Down 4-0 heading into the 8th and looking like a Pony League team against Mark Buehrle all night, The Munchkin hits a 3 run bomb and all of a sudden it's 4-3 Pale Hose heading into the bottom of the inning.
Wouldn't you know it? The Gremlin with the mean streak is back, Carlos Quentin hits a solo HR and as if 10:28 p.m. it's 5-3 White Sox, bottom of the 8th.
I really need to take a good hard look at myself; I'm 38, out of shape, and have high blood pressure. I eat like a 12 year old, don't get enough sleep, and spend roughly 4 hours a night watching grown men try and hit a small, round ball a really long way. Throw in the fact that if my team doesn't win my first thought is to go look for the nearest bridge to jump off and you've got a psychology major's term paper right it front of you.
Yet day after day, night after night, I do the same freaking thing. Even when it makes me re-create Eddie Murphy's set from "Raw" I just can't quit this game. Whether it's a 2-2 game, 9-0, or like tonight, 5-3 headed into the last a/b, I gotta stay up and watch it all.
I blame Dave Roberts.
'Cause he made me realize it's NEVER over; not even when the rest of the world is moving on and that big fat dude in Vegas is counting all his money, you never take anything for granted.
Even though the Sox lost tonight, they COULD have just as easily won; before 2004 I woulda been in bed already. Thanks to Saint Dave, now I never give up.
Sure, I'm sleep deprived, agitated, and almost ready to give myself a swirly; but because of that one play I'll never give up on a game again.
I'm not sure whether I should thank him or sue him for my sleep deprivation.
We win tomorrow, I'm hand writing the thank you note.
We lose? Ted's getting paid.
Far as I'm concerned, it's a win/win.
Listen To Your Mother Show - Beaumont
4 days ago