Due to the fact that Trot was still sick, Ciera spent the afternoon riding the porcelain train in her bathroom (thanks to the aforementioned demon child) and somebody had to stay home and play Janitor I found myself taking Rakes to his pre-school Christmas Pageant this afternoon.
When I hear he's got a part in a Christmas play, I naturally think of the Grinch, Heat Miser, or Mr. Scrooge when it involves Rakes. You can imagine my shock when I discovered he was cast as one of the wise men who brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. Talk about going against typecast; this was like DeNiro being asked to play Moses, Will Ferrell getting the lead in "A Beautiful Mind", or Whoopi Goldberg as a basketball coach. Wait a minute....
I digress. For whatever reason, my 5 year old bundle of energy, twitches, and a voice born to one day be an auctioneer found himself wearing a crown, a grin, and a look of bad intentions as he walked down the middle of the sanctuary toward the manger scene this afternoon.
Couple that with the conversation we had a few hours before and you'll see why I was JUST a bit nervous.
Me: "So, you're a wise man. Which gift are you bringing?"
Rakes: "What are you talking about, Dad?"
Me: "Is your gift Gold, Frankincense, or Myrrh?"
Rakes: (After a good 15 second pause, and with more than a touch of irritation in his voice) "It's green, Dad."
Sure enough, as I watched closely just in case I needed to sprint to the front and save some innocent child unlucky enough to be in his way, Rakes calmly laid a green box down in front of the cradle where the thankfully fake baby lay.
Just when I think I've got the boy figured out, he changes the rules.
After the play, the kids had the opportunity to have their picture made with Santa. I've gotta come clean here; I was more than a little nervous about how this would all end. Fortunately, Rakes was on his best behavior and Santa didn't show any fear; otherwise this may have been on the homepage of CNN tomorrow morning.
Although he did want to know why he didn't ask what Rakes wanted for Christmas, how come his beard was a different color than his hair, and why didn't his beard "stick" like mine does.
What can I say?
The boy is quick.