I came THIS close to committing a felony this afternoon.
After spending close to an hour with a young woman and her two children trying to pick out a sofa and love seat, I had her all set on about a $1,400 deal when her obnoxious mother decided to try and see if I was a UFC fighter in training.
Every time her daughter said "I love it" the Mom said "I hate it. But it's your money; do whatever you want". Every time the daughter said "I really like this color" the Mom said "I hate it". For every utterance of "This is SO comfortable!" by the daughter the Mother said "I'm not sleeping on it, so you can forget about me coming over to watch those kids".
I honestly wanted to hit her over the head with a bottle of ripple. Which is what I was heading to buy as soon as I could get the ditz to shut up. If it's good enough for Fred Sanford, it's good enough for me. Seriously, the lady DIDN'T live with her daughter, wasn't helping BUY the freaking furniture, and kept rushing us because she had to get to a Texas Hold-Em tournament by 6.
If there is any justice she has lost her entire life savings, pawned her beat up jalopy, and is begging her daughter to let her crash on her couch for the next 3 years.
And no, I'm not bitter.
But there needs to be a Hall of Fame for Dinks 'cause this woman is a first ballot shoo in.
This Week on My TV: July 18, 2015
1 week ago