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Monday, March 23, 2009

No Gibleys Were Harmed In Making This Picture

We took The Three Stooges, plus Cousin Jerry and one of Rakes little buddies to Chuck E. Cheese today where random chaos ensued.

First thing that happened was Trot not quite getting the whole "I need to stamp your LEFT hand", then him not seeing anything. Had to take him under the purple light to let him see he actually had a stamp and someone wasn't yanking his chain.

The next few hours went by in a haze of greasy pizza, screaming kids, and more noise than you'll hear in your average invasion of a small country. Mixed in was a sighting of Chuck himself where Trot, upon seeing the giant mouse with the over sized head, spent the rest of the time we were there yelling "Dad; Where did Maisey go?"

Seems like the little hooligan was confusing Chuck with his female counterpart Maisey from all our books we read. Try explaining all THAT to a 3 year old with potty training issues hopped up on pizza and caffeinated soda.

Throw in Rakes and his buddy playing in the Germ Fest known as The Maze, Ciera and Cousin Jerry going through tokens like Grant took Richmond, and me and Ang just trying to hold on for dear life and you've got yourself a typical visit to the Chucksters.

We left with 4 slices of un-eaten pizza, 3 new sippy cups, a crappy plastic worm, and some suckers to go along with the heartburn, beaten up ear drums, and several frayed nerves. After a trip to the fabric store to get Angie the apparently mystical clear thread (I have no idea what this is. Just that she had to have it and the place we went is the only place not named Karachi you can get it) we were on our way home until Rakes uttered the following.

"I left my wallet in the maze, Dad."

Mind you, this "wallet" is nothing more than a business card holder with old credit cards in it. Except for the Belks card that IS current that I stuck in my drawer because I never use it. As I repeatedly told Ang on the way back to the Hotel California of Pizzarias I never expected him to put it in his pocket and leave it in a toy at Chuck E. Cheese. Seriously; who would?

Naturally, it wasn't there, Ang had to call Belks and cancel the card, and I'm left wondering why in God's name nobody ever put any of this in one of those stupid "This will help you answer any problem you'll encounter in raising your children EVER" books I had to read back in the day when we were young, dumb, and totally unaware of what raising these little monsters REALLY meant.

Tomorrow, I'm writing a letter to those people who write "Parenting for Dummies" and demanding my money back.

7 comments:

Rich in the garage said...

Im waiting for the apocalypse now. I think I can hear the first riders hooves now.

No fire? No brimstone? No assaulted furry mascots? Im saddened and troubled. Your son may not turn out anything like me.

Circa 4th grade at Disney Chip and Dale made the awful mistake of "playing" with my cousin (I maintain to this day that HE stole that car and I was only an unwilling accomplice) and I. To this day I can not begin to comprehend how in the 100 degree weather two fully grown men in chipmunk suits managed to run that fast. I suppose the look of pure evil in our eyes played a pretty solid role in their desire to escape.

That was the last time our families went to Disney, Im pretty sure reflecting on this matter that we were in fact ASKED not to return.

Ted D said...

Things went pretty smooth, Rich. And thankfully it appears Rakes will in fact NOT be the second coming of you.

Thrown out of Disney? Unreal.

Krystle said...

Speaking of Disney, I went to school with the kid who Tigger "punched" when he went to Disney, don't know if you guys remember that. It was really funny at the time, wait actually...it still is!!

Sounds like a rockin' ole time, Ted! Glad the kids had fun =].

Rich in the garage said...

Can't say Im not a little bid saddened Ted.

This is way worse then the time I burned down the kite field.

~**Dawn**~ said...

I have to say, I've brought kids to Disney World on my own; I've been baysitting since I was 12; I did 5 years of daycare with the under-2 crowd.... and Chuck E Cheese *still* terrifies me. (The establishment. Not the character.)

Ted D said...

Krystle, I DO remember that! You knew that kid, huh?

Sorry Rich; You can still be the Nanny.

And Dawn? It's insane at that place.

Krystle said...

I did. I wasn't a part of the people he hung out with. But he didn't go back to school for a month because he didnt want to be made fun of. and the day he came back was pretty funny.

It turns out that Tigger never really punched him either. He was the one who punched Tigger, I guess.