Tonight, while watching "Survivor: Hero's and Villains" with the kids, I had an epiphany.
(And yes. I had to look it up. Sue me.)
Much to my ego's dismay, I realized I could never, and I mean EVER, be on Survivor. I know this doesn't come as much of a shock to those that know me, considering I can't use the bathroom unless I'm at home and I realize I'd go into crack addict like withdrawls if I was away from my kids and wife for more than a week. (And that isn't even getting to the real elephant in the room; the Internet and television. This is reason #5,699 that I wasn't born in the 19th century.)
My moment of clarity came when I saw Boston Rob, after passing out and being diagnosed with the flu apparently willing his team to victory in the Immunity challenge while I sat on my couch covered in a blanket with nothing more than a common head cold.
This wasn't as bad as coming to the realization in the 7th grade that my career as an NBA center or a MLB short stop wasn't happening, but it was close. I had visions of grandeur of winning a million dollars and reading the Top Ten List on Letterman one day, but like any other impossible dream I realize it ain't happening.
However, look for me and Jr in an Amazing Race coming to you soon; can you imagine? Two guys who couldn't get on most of the rides at Disney World traveling the Globe with nothing more than a back pack, the clothes on their backs, and in Jr's case a foul mouth and in mine a patience level usually seen in the everyday 3 year old?
Throw in the fact I HATE to fly, Jr's seemingly innate ability to annoy anyone he comes in contact with, and the small matter of me needing help to negotiate the rather easy Boston public transportation system and you've got a walking disaster waiting to happen.
CBS should love us.
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