Trot had his first official soccer game this morning and even though I was late to work I made sure I was there for it.
In the span of 40 minutes we covered more ground than Usain Bolt does in the average 100 meter race. There was his first ever goal paired with him laying prostrate on the field at one end while EVERYONE else was down at the other goal. I'm pretty sure he gave every male on his team a shot to the gibleys for some reason, leading his buddy Noah to loudly yell "Would you PLEASE quit hitting me?".
At one point I made him come off the field due to the fact he was trying to do a headstand while the rest of the kids ran right by him, leading to the grand finale of him standing at mid field, clapping his hands and singing Shawn Michael's theme song.
If you don't know this catchy number it repeats, over and over, "I'm just a sexy boy... Boy Toy. I'm not your Boy Toy."
There is absolutely NO WAY I will ever be able to coach any of this child's sports teams.