Tonight after work I took the kids to the pool.
This is just about a nightly event from Memorial Day weekend until Labor Day so it's usually the standard stuff; Ciera swims, Rakes dive bombs the water looking for stuff he's thrown to the bottom, and Trot swims/doggie paddles/drinks in roughly 2 gallons of water per 5 minutes he's in the pool while I alternate between yelling at him to stay in the little end and asking him if he's gotta pee.
After several rain showers today I sort of figured we'd have the place to ourselves, but our neighbor's 7 year old daughter and her friend apparently don't mind freezing cold water either. 5 minutes in and Trot had climbed into their float with them while Rakes did everything short of capsizing them in the water to get their attention. Honestly, I don't think they realize they're doing it; it's just some built in thing that boys/men have that makes them want to try and impress any female within 100 square yards.
At some point they decided they'd make a fort out of the pool chairs, and it was at this point the comedy level ratcheted up about 75%. Both the girls have divorced parents, and as a result, a cell phone. This led to 15 minutes of Rakes asking the Mom if the phones were real, finding out they were INDEED real, then begging me for a phone, followed up by another 10 minutes of him telling them he had an IPOD touch at home, along with an I Phone and he was getting, and I quote, "a Blackberry Ipod touch" tomorrow.
Meanwhile Trot becomes enraged when one of the girls tells him she heard him "toot". Why, I don't know, since I asked him if he did and he said "Yes". Multiple cartwheels, manly shouts, and Trot chasing Rakes around the pool after Rakes punched him in the stomach (it would remind you of watching the monkeys at the zoo) later the girls packed up and left for home.
As I'm counting to 10 under my breath and trying to keep it together, Rakes tells Trot to say goodbye over the fence to "Hannah and Carlos".
Only her name is Carson.
My life is a Monty Python skit.
4 hours ago