Trot had a Mother/Father breakfast at school today where I tried to sit with him at his table and was informed that my seat was for "Toria" (his friend Victoria). One day he's running into brick walls and the next he's Don Juan all of a sudden.
Anyways, he made me and his Mom a place mat where on the back they asked them questions about their Dad. I was sort of nervous about this because I was certain there was going to be a "I like to watch my Dad scream bad words at the television when the Red Sox are on" but thankfully he left that out.
You can see the answers he gave above and in short order my favorite color is blue, I loathe spaghetti, we don't have a real soccer goal, and unfortunately I'm not 5. This only underscores the fact he's not only a serial urinator, he's also REALLY unobservant. Although he DID say his Mom was 10, so I've at least got THAT going for me.
One day, when I look out the kitchen window and see him burning down the woods behind our house, I'll look over at the picture they gave me for my Father's Day present where it's written on the back "I love my Dad because he loves me" and it'll be the only thing that keeps me from sending him to reform school.