Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Things I Do

In my time as a Dad to three kids, in particular a beautiful girl who has somehow gone from being a small baby to a 13 year old with attitude to burn, I've done a lot of things I never envisioned myself doing back when I was single and footloose and fancy free.

I've changed diapers, played Barbie, pushed a swing set for more hours than I care to admit, and painted a room pink. I've done mind numbing homework, signed off on reading lists, helped with projects, and bought more clothes and toys than I like to remember.

Today however, we moved into uncharted territory.

Feminine Hygiene.

To say I felt like an idiot standing in this massive isle of multi-colored boxes while holding a piece of the box Ang gave me looking like some moron playing a match game would be an understatement. Mind you, I've always known this isle was at the grocery store but much like the parts of the store that hold Depends and healthy food I've never ventured down that particular level of hell.

Why are there so many different kinds? Even milk only has a few; whole, fat free, 2%.... There appeared to be THOUSANDS of these things. This is a whole freaking cottage industry that somehow grew up while I was flipping channels and avoiding the Lifetime Network like it had the Ebola virus. Never in my life have I been that glad to get out of a grocery store.

I love my daughter more than anything in this world and would take a bullet for her if I had to. But as I left that store today I made myself this solemn vow:

I'll walk her down an isle one day in the not to distant future but I won't walk down THAT isle again.


~**Dawn**~ said...

Oh my gosh, Ted. I cannot stop laughing. Are you glad the other two are boys? ;-)

Ted D said...

Dawn, yes and no. 'Cause I was a teenage boy once. ;)

Stacy said...

A classic, little brother. Keith wanted to know what I was laughing about, so I had to share the best parts with him. :)

TheHitKing said...

Great baseball blog! Like mine, it is family oriented! I too have a daughter, only 2! not looking forward to posting an article like this...Good luck! Keep up the family Posts, it's what baseball is all about!

Ted D said...

Stacy, I'm glad you found it funny. I just want to know if Keith has made that run. ;)

Thanks, Hit King. It's never a dull minute.