Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Great Escape

I had been outside playing soccer with the boys for about an hour this evening when Keegan, running like there was a milk bone truck rounding the corner, came flying out of the house and took off down the street so fast I barely had time to process it.

Turns out Rakes had left the door in the garage wide open when he came back outside so the dog decided to take an afternoon run. Ang gets in the van to try and find him while Trot and Rakes jump on their electric scooters like some demented Neighborhood Watch team and Ciera alternates between calling the dog's name and yelling "I Hate You!" at Rakes. Meanwhile I'm secretly thinking that my problem has been miraculously solved and imagine the dog running toward freedom with a smile on his face.

His freedom, and my fantasy of a dog-less existence proved to be short lived and I'm happy (or not so happy) to say the dog is currently laying at my feet after being found at a house about a half mile from ours by a surprised home owner.

I should have got a turtle.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Lions, Tigers, and Bears.

Think he had a good time on his field trip today?

Well, other than trying to feed an ostrich with the food in his hand and not in the bucket.

But other than that?

We had a ball.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Field Trip

I'm taking the day off work tomorrow to go on a field trip with Trot to a place called the Lazy 5 Ranch, where I've gone before with Ciera and Rakes when they were in Kindergarten.

You ride in a wagon holding a bucket off feed and every so often the wagon stops and all kinds of animals like ostriches, llamas, pigs, cows, antelope, etc... come right up and eat out of the bucket.

Me, Trot, food, and wild animals.

This has got Funniest Home Videos written all over it.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Hail To The Chief


I may be the leader of the Free World someday.

Consider yourself warned.

P.S. I like cheese. A LOT of cheese.

Just an FYI in case I'm in control of the nuclear football in about 40 years.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Little Einstein. Or Not.

Trot won the "Hardest Worker at Math" in his Kindergarten class at an awards assembly today and I'm not exactly sure how to take it.

Don't get me wrong; I'm proud of him for winning an award but I'm not exactly sure how to take "Hardest Worker" which could really mean a whole lot of things.

I guess I'll just take it for what it is and be glad he didn't get the "Most Likely to have His own Desk in the Principals Office" in the next 3 years.

Also he and Rakes got "Perfect Attendance" awards which shows that if nothing else?

They at least show up to play.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Time to wake up the Bambino?

Well, that was a giant kick to the Spaldings.

A 9 run lead after 6 innings somehow turns into a 15-9 loss where the bull pen makes the Bad News Bears look like an All-Star team and the manager suddenly looked every bit of his 61 years.

All I know is there is nothing I'd like better than to get up tomorrow morning and read the Sox have signed a certain right hander who is currently retired and probably sitting underneath a Mango tree wondering if he's got one more dance in the Light Fandango left in him.

Time to come home, Pedey.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Hello Again

After several weeks of being on "green" at school with just a few "yellows" mixed in we finally had another Defcon 4 today. Trot came home on "red".

When I tried to to find out what happened during our daily phone call/status update once he got home from school he spent 3 minutes pretending he didn't hear me after I asked what happened. Once that jig was up he told me that some random kid pushed him and told the teacher Trot was the pusher and not the pushee. In a way only a Dad who thinks his son has been wronged, I spoke with righteous indignation and told him I would fire off an email to his teacher.

This was met by stunned silence, a few seconds of the phone being rattled and the words "Here's Nanny".

Turns out he basically shut out the teacher all day and did what he wanted to which resulted in him landing on red and getting grounded for the rest of the week. Think "Ferris Buellers Day Off", only Ferris is a bald 6 year old, can't drive and didn't get away with it.

If he ever comes home and tells me his best friend is named Cameron and he likes a girl named Sloane I'm gonna run into the woods behind the house and live in a tree until he leaves home.

Monday, April 16, 2012

A Ferret's Life For Me

*Picture courtesy of my friend Kelly and*

This is Steve. He's a Ferret. Not a real one, although sometimes I wonder.

He's been to Fenway Park hundreds of times, been photographed with multiple players, and can Palooze with the best of 'em. In fact, the first time I met Steve was in Baltimore when he came flying through the air at me, courtesy of a well placed sling shot by Kelly.

He's got his own uniform, a Kyle Snyder autographed jersey, and probably has more friends on Facebook than I do. The only reason I don't know this for sure is I'm afraid to actually check.

And now he's got something that will live on forever, or at least as long as Fenway Park is standing.

A brick. Inside Fenway Park.

This may be the most awesome thing I've ever seen.

Friday, April 13, 2012

One Fine Day

*Image courtesy of*

I realize Jacoby getting hurt sliding into second is a bad thing. I know they won't score 12 runs a game just as sure as I know Trot won't go a week without peeing in the bed. And as much as it pains me to say it I realize Josh Beckett won't be the ace every time he pitches.

But today in Fenway? Under a beautiful sunny sky Beckett was Beckett going 8 strong, everybody hit and hit well and the Sox took it to the Rays 12-2 in Fenway Park's opener in the 100th year of the ball park.

Tek and Wake threw out the first pitch, I had at least 4 friends that I know of at the game and I'm pretty sure Teddy Ballgame was looking on and smiling.

Now I'm off to go find some rubber sheets.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Home Sweet Home

Trot has wet the bed 3 times since the start of the season.

The Red Sox are 1-5.

Don't tell me it's just a coincidence.

Back at Fenway tomorrow, which is good.

For four games with the Rays, which isn't quite so good.

Here we go.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Mayberry We Ain't

The kids were out of school yesterday and being that it was a picture perfect North Carolina day, Ang and I took them fishing at the local lake. We packed a picnic lunch, got some blankets to lay on and looked forward to a day out in some fresh air.

On the way I told both boys that the first one to put their foot in the lake was going to have to sit out for an hour and watch the other ones fish because we can't seem to go to the lake without somebody trying to walk on water or swear they saw a fish and were trying to impale it on their toenail or some other cockamamie excuse.

We weren't there 2 minutes and I hadn't got the first hook baited when we heard...... splash.

Somehow Trot had gone rear end over tea kettle into the lake, all 3 foot of him and had this look of "How did this happen?" as all 4 of us practically peed our pants from laughing and spent the next 1 1/2 hours wearing his underwear and Ang's hoodie while his clothes dried in the sun.

Needless to say we didn't catch any fish. Again. Rakes got his fishing pole hooked in a tree while standing on a bench (don't ask), Trot flailed away at the water with HIS pole like he was beating a duck to death and went to the bathroom in his pants while frantically trying to make it up to the rest room at the top of the hill.

I blame myself. Every time we decide to go fishing I've got the image of Andy and Opie heading to the old fishing hole in my head while they've got Pantera blaring in theirs.

Next time?

I'm taking 'em back home.

To the zoo.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Happy Easter

The boys went on an Easter Egg hunt today.

And totally got it all wrong.

However, somehow these two knuckleheads managed to each find a Golden egg that got them a prize which only goes to prove the old adage;

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then.

Only this time it was TWO nuts.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Spring has finally Sprung

The dog is still hacking up candy and wrappers he ate 5 days ago? No problem.

Caught Trot trying (and thankfully failing) to feed the dog with stomach issues a chocolate pop tart earlier? No problem.

Red Sox closer Andrew Bailey on the DL already with a thumb issue and Beckett has seen 2 specialists about his OWN thumb issue and Youk is hitting around the Mendoza line for Spring Training? No problem.

Iran working on nukes and North Korea has one, making the two craziest regimes this side of the guy in Venezuela and Jr's Fantasy Baseball teams? Meh.

'Cause tomorrow is Opening Day, albeit in Detroit and I'll be at work when the game is on. But still; it's Opening Freaking Day and that means for the next 6 months there will be baseball. The video is a little long but if you're a fan of the game? Well worth the listen.

Happy Baseball Season.