Wednesday, August 29, 2012

A New World Order

14 years ago High School was the farthest thing from my mind as I held a beautiful baby girl. I thought about her first words and steps and wondered what she'd think of me when she figured out who in the world I was.

The next several years sped by filled with pushing her in a swing, teaching her how to ride a bike, reading countless books to her whenever I could, and generally spoiling her rotten. Then, all of a sudden, we were in Kindergarten and I thought "plenty of time until she grows up" and then somehow we were in 3rd grade, then   Middle School and like some demented ostrich I kept my head buried in the sand and pretended High School would never get here.

And now it's here. She's this grown up thing with attitude to burn and she's hit the ground running with band, football games, Honor's classes and her need for me consists of giving her money and driving her from place to place. And I realize that my little girl that I've known all these years is no more.

But, and she'll kill me for saying this, every night when she's ready to go to sleep she comes out of her room at the top of the stairs and says "I'm ready for bed, Dad."

And just like I've done almost every night since she was born, I kneel down next to her bed, hold her hands, and say her goodnight prayers together.

Really hope she doesn't grow out of that anytime soon.

Saturday, August 25, 2012


Fantasy baseball.

The only place I've ever seen a trade like this made, yet it happened in real life as Beckett, Crawford, Gonzo, and for some weird reason Nick Punto all get traded to the Dodgers for James Loney and some prospects (some of which are reported to be pretty good).

I get that it needed to happen; Beckett wore out his welcome about 2 years ago and even though I've always  liked the guy and probably always will? I get why people are glad he's gone; I'm a fan, but I'm not stupid.

Crawford never got out of the starting blocks with Boston due to injuries and general bad luck, and I hope a move to the West Coast (where he probably wishes he'd gone when the Angels came calling anyway) will do him a world of good.

It's Gonzo I'm really going to miss; a guy in his prime with the sweetest swing since Ted Williams and he played First like he owned it. He's going to mash for the next few years until, like all of us, Father Time finally catches up and he becomes a mere mortal.

Gonna be interesting to see what management does or doesn't do with all that extra money they suddenly have.

One thing you can say for sure; it's never boring in Red Sox Nation.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Mr. Monk? Meet Rakes.

Do to the sheer weight of Trot-isms that have been coming fast and furious lately I'd forgotten about one Rakes story that happened the day we were leaving for vacation.

I gotta preface this by saying I'm a bit of a germophobe; BIG believer in washing hands, not touching the inside doorknob in a public bathroom, not touching a pay phone no matter what the emergency could be, etc..... and I sometimes forget kids see EVERYTHING.

As we left out that morning for the beach Ang had to stop at her hairdressers to pick up something vital. I have no idea what it was, only that there was no way on earth we could go to the beach without it and apparently this product isn't found in ANY store, mall, gas station, or Wal-Mart in America. So we went.

Mind you, we've been in the car a total of 10 minutes so far, and even though I made everyone go to the bathroom BEFORE we left the house, of course they all had to pee when we get there. After Ang and Ciera and Trot go, I send Rakes to one and I use the other. (I didn't have to go, but there was no way I was stopping for ME when I knew we had at least another 23 more we'd have to make before getting to the beach).

As I leave the room there is nobody there; no sign of anyone. So I call Rakes' name and get a THUMP, THUMP, THUMP coming from his door and him calling "In here, Dad". I open the door and there he is, standing like Hawkeye Pierce right after he'd scrubbed for surgery and before Hot Lips put on his surgical gloves. With great big eyes he say's "I didn't want to touch the handle and they don't have any towels. I just figured I'd wait on you to come and find me".

Dear Lord what have I done to him?

Saturday, August 11, 2012

He did it again.

Another day, another Trot story.

At lunch time today Ang was in our room while Trot was supposedly eating lunch, but when she came out of our room his food was at the table but he wasn't. When she called out his name, Rakes came walking out of the playroom carrying a pint of ice cream and a serving spoon stating "he's been in here eating this".

Mind you, we have told them both about a million times apiece that we are NOT eating outside the kitchen, so by the time Trot came moseying in from the bathroom Ang was about to hit the roof. It was at this point the following conversation took place.

Ang: "Trot, why are you disobeying us when we've told you time after time not to eat outside the kitchen?"

Trot: "I don't know."

Ang: "Didn't you ask Jesus into your heart?"

Trot: "Yes."

Ang: "And didn't you just get baptized?"

Trot: "Yes."

Ang: "So why aren't you listening to him talking to you and telling you to do the right thing?"

Trot: "Mom. I can't HEAR Jesus. The television is too loud".

If he doesn't become President one day he's gonna make a fine Congressman at the very least.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Seriously. One Day I'm Writing a Book.

Trot had a buddy come over around lunch today to swim and spend the night; sort of a send off to summer since he's headed back to school in a few weeks.

This friend of his goes to church with us and his Dad is a Deacon and member of the choir, so of course something Trot-esque was bound to occur.

It didn't take 5 minutes.

As Ang is talking to his Mom, Rakes is asking if he can watch violent movies and wondering what video games they have need to be put up for the night while Ang is turning what I imagine to be a vivid red. (Thankfully I'm at work while all this is going on). As they are explaining to Trot's buddy and his Mom what video games they CAN play, the following takes place.

Rakes: "We have the game Doodlebob, but Trot can't play it because he can't spell".

Trot: "Yes I can"!

Rakes: "No you can't"!

Trot: "Yes I can! I can spell ass! A.S.S."!

I've got a sinking feeling we aren't getting a Christmas card this year.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Vacations. They're not just for Clark Griswold.

I spent the past week in Myrtle Beach for our annual vacation, which is typically a lot of fun mixed in with a few doses of stress and a shot of blind fear. Without further ado, the top 5 Trot moments of Beachapalooza 2012.

1. Upon meeting a couple of college kids in the pool, Trot asks where they're from. Turns out it was Durham, NC whereupon Trot responds "I'm from Durham too. But now I live here".

2. Every 10 minutes he would barge into the ping pong room, look around, and yell at the top of his lungs "I got winner!"

3. At my urging he walks up to the hostess at Olive Garden and say's "Hey baby. Can we get a table?" Not 3 seconds later our buzzer beeps alerting us our table is ready. He now thinks this will get us a table anywhere we go at a moments notice. Trot: The Hostess Whisperer.

4. As I'm carrying him up the beach he grabs my neck and say's "You're my favorite Dad, Dad."

5. On the drive home the kids are watching the first "Star Wars" and one of the Empire big wigs utters the line "We will CRUSH the Rebel Alliance" which I immediately start repeating. Trot, sitting in the back seat playing his DS then utters "We're eatin' fish tonight!" in his best Bruce the shark voice from the movie "Finding Nemo".

Yep. That's my boy.